Recovery
by MariskaMania
Summary: Undercover in Sealview, the aftermath of Olivia's attack. Based one week after the attack, Olivia finds herself struggling to cope with work, life and love. Can she find comfort and safety in Elliot's arms? Short fuses. Close to home case. Tears. Love. Requested by @frizzical E/O story.
1. Drunk

**A/N: I do not own SVU or any of the characters. I only own the story I have created, and the characters that I have created. This was a requested fanfiction, it is based on the aftermath of the episode _Undercover. _Just a recap, (as if anyone could forget this episode) Olivia Benson goes undercover at Sealview prison after a teenage girl says a corrections officer raped her and has also been threatening her mother in prison. I hope I do this justice, I will write this from my point of view and how I think Olivia would be coping not only on the job, but at home also. I am open to reviews, please be constructive, if you want to see anything, or want to tell me how you think Olivia would react or how her behaviour would change, let me know! I want this to incorporate your views as well as mine. **

* * *

**One week after Olivia's attack at Sealview prison.**

Olivia sat in her apartment, the door was locked, and a new bolt sat slid across the wooden frame. Sitting on the couch, Olivia let one tear fall down her already puffy cheeks. She hadn't had a proper nights sleep since being attacked in Sealview.

Nothing was in her mind, she was numb; with her knees pulled up to her chest, Olivia held herself tightly. She was alone, and never had she felt so scared to be so.

A knock at the door made her jump, she dropped the blue blanket that caressed her shoulders, took her gun from the coffee table and proceeded to the door with a fearful caution. "Who is it?" she called out. She stood against the door listening, she heard nothing.

"Liv, it's me."

Olivia sighed deep relief, she slid the dead bolt to the right, turned the lock, took the chain off the door and opened it slowly. When she saw her partner standing in the doorway, her shoulders dropped, she lowered her gun and forced a smile.

"How've you been?" Elliot asked walking into her apartment, he watched as she applied all three locks again.

"I'm okay, a little jumpy, but okay."

"It's been a week, Cragen was wondering when you were coming back."

"I'm not sure yet, I need more time. I need to get my thoughts together."

Elliot understood, "Take as long as you need, we all understand."

Olivia nodded, her eyes were blank; emotions seemed to run dry in her body. Elliot barely recognised the shell of his partner.

"I bought you some soup, chicken. And some juice."

"I'm not sick." Olivia said emptily.

"I know," Elliot paused, his heart aching for his partner. "I've never been that scared before."

Olivia looked up at him, her red eyes sore from crying, "What do you mean?" she asked blankly.

"I was terrified. I wish it had been me there, not Fin. I'd have killed him."

"It's the closest I've ever been." she said, those fatal words struck her hard as she remembered, she had already said them before.

Elliot leant over to embrace Olivia, she looked at him with cold eyes; as he put his arms around her she sat like stone.

"I know." he whispered softly holding her, "I'm here Liv, I'll protect you. I've always got your back."

Olivia tried to find comfort in his words, but it was harder than she ever imagined. The world seemed to crumble around her, and as she tried to rebuild herself and her mind, something else would crash and destroy what she'd fixed.

* * *

Eleanor Rigby was sixteen years old, she had lived in New York all her life, but rarely ventured out of her home. She had shoulder length honey coloured hair that was shaped around her face. Cradling herself she wept, she called out for her mother, but no one came to her rescue.

Finding strength, she got off the bed, pulled her clothes off and put them in a plastic bag; she got redressed, didn't wash, brush her teeth or brush her hair.

Moving the curtain, she looked out at the busy road, rain splashed down on the city. '_Could it be anymore beautiful_?' Eleanor thought to herself. She hadn't felt the rain on her skin in weeks, months even.

She put her hand through the bars on her window and traced a droplet of water that raced down the pane of glass.

Blinking herself out of the raining tracing, Eleanor picked up the bag of clothes and opened her bedroom door, she found herself looking out into a bleak, smelly hallway. It was dark, empty bottles of wine and beer filled the hall.

She walked down the stairs, her mother was on the couch snoring, '_No doubt sleeping off another hangover_.' Eleanor stared at her mother, '_It's all your fault, you're meant to protect me_.'

Feeling a wave of sickness flood her body, she shuddered, it was time to put an end to this. The girl's pale skin begged for the sun, '_Home school? More money so you can spend it on booze_!' Looking at the woman who gave birth to her, she scowled, shooting daggers from her eyes, the sick feeling turned to hot acidic vomit racing up her throat. Vomit spattered from her lips as she tried to hold it in; she made it to the kitchen sink just in time to empty her stomach.

Walking back out of the kitchen and in to the small living room, her mother stirred, opened her eyes and gave a semi toothless, crooked smile.

"Where are you going?" Allison Rigby asked still drunk.

"Out."

"When will you be back?" she asked propping herself up to see her daughter.

"A couple hours." Eleanor made her way to the front door, her mom laid her head back down on the flat cushion.

"Hey, you think you could pick me up a six pack on your way home?"

Eleanor nodded, "Sure mom."

"You're my beautiful baby girl. Don't forget my drink."

"I won't."

"Make sure you don't, I've got company tonight!"

"You always do." Eleanor said under her breath.

* * *

Elliot looked at Olivia, he hated seeing her so down, so broken and empty. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by his phone ringing.

Taking it out of his pocket he answered it, Cragen was on the end of the phone.

A lot of hushed replies later, Elliot found himself in a position he didn't appreciate. "Cragen." he said showing her the phone, "There's a case." he began, "Cragen wants to know if you're up for it."

"What is it?"

"A girl made her way to SVU thirty minutes ago, she claims she's been raped by one of her mom's clients. She has a bag of clothes with her."

Olivia thought for a minute, knowing she had to get back into the real world, back to work, she decided to go back to work. "Let me grab a shower." Olivia stood up; "Heat me up that soup?" she smiled a little walking into her bedroom.

* * *

Doubt ran through Olivia's entire being, she had no idea how she was going to cope with this case. She became apprehensive seeing the girl sitting alone; she walked up to the glass and looked at her.

"It's good to have you back Olivia." Cragen said joining her. "Are you ready to be back?"

"In all honesty, I'm not sure."

"You're stronger than you think. If you're not ready, I'll send Elliot in there."

"It's okay Captain." Olivia walked in to the interrogation room, she sat down and smiled softly, her eyes not holding their usual warmth.

"My name's Olivia," the detective said looking at the teenager.

"I'm Eleanor."

"How old are you Eleanor?"

"Sixteen."

"Okay sweetheart, I'm going to be investigating this case for you." the girl nodded softly. "Have you washed since the incident took place?"

"No." Eleanor said, a lump rising in her throat. "I didn't brush my teeth either, or brush my hair. I just changed my clothes and put them all in that bag."

"Good girl. How did you know to do that?"

The teen shrugged, "It seemed obvious."

"Okay Eleanor, I'm going to take you to the hospital, are you okay for the doctor to do an examination?" pausing Olivia looked at the girl, she seemed to look as empty as Olivia felt. "It will be invasive, you should be prepared."

"I know."

Confused, Olivia looked at Eleanor, "Has this happened before?"

There was a few seconds of silence before Eleanor raised her gaze from the floor to meet Olivia's eyes, "Yes."

Olivia nodded and stood up, "Okay Eleanor, when we get back from the hospital I'll take your statement. Do your parents know you're here?"

"No. I don't have parents."

"My Captain told me one of your mom's clients attacked you." Olivia seemed confused.

"My mom's a drunk. She sleeps with the men she brings home and when she passes out, they find me. She's not fit to be called a parent."

Olivia heard the words mom and drunk and somehow managed to sink further into her depression. Less than ten seconds passed, but it felt like an hour; a cold shiver of memories ran down her spine. She forced a smile, "Are you ready?" she asked Eleanor.

Eleanor nodded, "I'm ready for this to end."


	2. Trust

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews, I really appreciate them all. I am writing this story slightly differently to my other stories. I have loved getting all your feedback, it really helps me progress with my writing. I am interested in knowing what you think, I'd like to know how you think Olivia would cope. I have some ideas of how I'm going to go forward with this, and I have had some fantastic ideas thanks to you. So if you believe Olivia would react a certain way, tell me in the reviews. **

* * *

'_Dear Diary._

_Today couldn't have been any harder. I went back to work, I wasn't sure I was ready, and my first case hit home harder than I care to admit. A young girl came in, her mom was an alcoholic. I saw myself in her. _

_It made me think about my mom, how much I need someone right now, just to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay, that it's painful now, but everything worth fighting for takes time. That it's hard, but someone's on my side. _

_I feel like a soldier for the victims in the city, but at the end of the day I come home alone. I sleep alone, wake up alone, work, and repeat. _

_I didn't realise how hard this was all going to be. I forced myself to smile today, it felt so wrong. I want to be snuggled up in bed, I want to forget the world. I made a promise to Eleanor today that I would help her. The truth is, I'm not sure I can help myself right now, let alone someone that really needs me._

_I hate to admit, but when Elliot held me in his arms this morning, I felt human again. It was like he found a way in. I felt safe again, but how do I tell him? It's not like he can leave Kathy, for me. Why would he? What have I got to offer? I love him, I trust him, I wish he was mine. I want to wake up next to him, to have a date night, to be close with him. I want to be loved by someone who genuinely loves me._

_I've never been so scared in my entire life. I thought, I was convinced he was going to rape me. He was so forceful, it's the closest I've ever been to being raped. To being anything. Elliot was always there to have my back. Fin. Fin was, he saved me, but he's not Elliot. I've taken a week off work, I've fallen and crumbled into half the person I used to be, because Fin didn't get to me in time, and now I have to work with him and remain normal. I don't know how I'm going to do that. If he had been five seconds later. I can't even think about it. I won't. I've already let my mind wander into the darkest abyss possible. I won't go back there. _

_Today was the first step of getting back to normality. I am not going backwards._

_OB.'_

* * *

Olivia held Eleanor's hand throughout the examination, she wiped the tears from the girl's face and smiled on the odd occasion.

"Here are the clothes she arrived in." a nurse told Olivia handing her a bag.

"You won't find anything on them. I washed them yesterday, and put them on clean today. I bagged the clothes for you." Eleanor's tired voice said.

"It's okay Eleanor, it's protocol." Olivia said softly.

"We're done here." the examiner said, "I'll leave you to change in to these." she said handing Eleanor a grey sweater and sweat pants.

Eleanor frowned at the woman, she turned to Olivia, "Do I have to?"

Olivia nodded, "I'll find you something else to wear when we get back to the squad room."

Smiling a little, the examiner pulled the curtain whilst Eleanor pulled off the hospital gown and redressed in grey. Two minutes later, she appeared, white socks poking out from the elasticated ankles of the sweats.

"I don't have any shoes."

"I have a pair of sneekers in the car. You can slip those on until I can find you a pair."

Eleanor looked at Olivia, she hung her head and raised her eyes to meet Olivia's. "Look, I can see that you don't need this right now. And I promised to pick up some beer for my mom. I'm sorry I wasted your time."

Olivia seemingly snapped out of her numbness, Eleanor walked passed her; a cold breeze hit Olivia and reality set back in. Olivia turned and briskly walked to catch up with Eleanor, she caught up and held her arm.

"I'm sorry." her eyes melting with sadness, "Let me take you back and take your statement."

Eleanor looked at her, she noted the pain growing in the detective. Taking a deep breath in, Eleanor nodded, "I told my mom I'd only be a couple of hours, she's expecting me."

Olivia sighed she knew very well Eleanor's mother wanted beer, not her daughter. Resting her hand on Eleanor's shoulder, she walked her out to the Crown Vic.

Ten minutes later they arrived back at the one – six. Olivia walked Eleanor through to the small box room at the back on the squad room, she offered her a drink which Eleanor declined.

She took out a pen, wrote the date, time, and victim's name on the top of the form, then asked Eleanor to walk her through what had happened.

"It was eight." she began.

"At night?" Olivia questioned.

Eleanor nodded, "Eight p.m. I was in my room when I heard someone walking up the stairs. My mom usually, tumbles up the stairs. The alcohol." Olivia nodded, "So I heard someone coming up the stairs, he couldn't open my door. It gets stuck sometimes and, it's not important. Anyway he couldn't get in, then he fell through my door. He chucked up a little on the carpet, then came over to me. I was laying on my bed reading listening to music. I put my book down, I tried to call nine – one – one but mom didn't pay the phone bill again, so the line was dead."

"Go on, you're doing really well."

A tear struck Eleanor's cheek; "He fell on me, I remember his lips, his hot, brandy breath. He pushed his tongue in my mouth, I tried to scream, I bit his tongue and he pinched my inner thighs. He pulled my clothes off and," she paused as she choked on tears. "He raped me. Then he fell asleep on me. I had to roll him off me. He woke up when he hit the floor."

Olivia wrote ferociously as Eleanor spoke. Once she'd written everything, Olivia reached out for her hand. "You've done really well. I want to find you somewhere to stay tonight. I don't want you going back to that house."

Eleanor's face dropped, "What about my mom?"

"My partner has gone to speak to her. We need to identify the man who raped you. We need a name from her."

"She won't help you. It's her client. She cares more about them than she does me."

Olivia said nothing, she stood up; "Lets go and get something to eat, I need to call Alex, you'll meet her tomorrow. She's going to find you somewhere to sleep tonight."

Eleanor nodded, Olivia lead her out into the squad room.

"You bitch!"

Eleanor turned as shock rattled her, "Mom."

"What have you done? You've ruined me! You're dead to me. Do you hear me! DEAD!"

Eleanor broke down in tears, her knees went weak as she saw her mother being hauled into an interrogation room. Olivia held Eleanor, "I'm sorry!" she screamed to her mother. She watched as her mother flipped up her middle finger.

"Olivia I can't do this. I need her."

Olivia held Eleanor's shoulders, "Listen to me, you don't need her. You need justice, and you need safety, she can't give you that. Sweetheart do you trust me?"

The girl paused waiting for Olivia's words to sink in; she nodded, "I do."

"Then trust me when I tell you, I'll keep you safe, I'll find you a home. I'll make sure that whoever did this to you goes to jail for a very long time."

"You can't promise me that. I trust you'll do your best, but there is something eating you upside, until you deal with that, don't make me promises."

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading this chapter, I know the wait has been long and I hope that this chapter is what you've been waiting for. Have I been writing this in a way you think Olivia would react this way after her ordeal at SealView? Let me know because your views are really important to me for the development of this story. **


	3. Attached

**A/N: Thanks for your patience, I know it's been a while since I've updated. I really appreciate your kind words and support. I hope you enjoy this chapter, as always, if you have a spare couple of minutes, please take the time to review, I love reading what you think, but also, knowing what you like helps me progress with my story. **

**Many thanks. **

**Beth. **

* * *

Olivia stood shocked for a moment, she took a deep breath in trying to take in the words of the girl who stood in front of her. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out, words refused her throat.

"I didn't mean to be rude, I'm sorry." a little voice said filtering into Olivia's haze of shock.

"It's okay. You weren't rude."

Eleanor shrugged, she touched Olivia's hand and felt the woman flinch, no words were spoken, none were needed. Eleanor picked up a ten dollar bill, the same one she'd came in with hours before. She walked towards the doors, standing in the doorway she waited for Olivia.

Olivia's heart ached instantly, her heart strings pulling hard, tugging making her feel sick. There she was, she saw her sixteen year old self standing there, money in hand waiting to buy her mother something she shouldn't be drinking.

"Liv, Allison Rigby's not talking. She's refusing to give us a client list, she says she wants to protect the men."

"What about her daughter?"

Elliot gave Olivia a look, "All she cares about is the men who provide her the money for her beer. She's not interested in her daughter Liv."

Feeling overwhelmed, Olivia's head began to spin, "Elliot, I can't send her back to that house. We could end up going to pick up her body tomorrow if her mom's released."

"I'd take her back to mine, but Kathy been's under a lot of pressure with the kids and school."

"I'll take her home with me." Olivia spoke the words before she realised exactly what she'd said, there was no conscious thought behind them.

"You sure? I can find her an emergency foster family for the night."

"I'm positive Elliot, she needs stability now."

"Don't get too close Liv." Elliot said folding her into his arms, she stiffened then accepted, she needed someone to hold her. "You're strong, everything will be fine. I promise."

Olivia nodded into Elliot's chest, "Thank you." she whispered. "Look at her Elliot, that was me. Dying for my mom's attention, when in reality, I came second to the bottle."

Elliot said nothing, he gave a glance over at Eleanor who still stood in the doorway patiently awaiting Olivia. He kissed the top of her head and released her. "You can make a real difference with her, you know that, right?"

"I hope so." Olivia said quietly, she knew somewhere inside of her, that Eleanor was going to make a difference in her life too.

Eleanor made her way back to Olivia, "Before you take me back, can I see my mom please?"

Olivia looked at Eleanor, "I don't think that's a good idea, I..." Olivia was looking into the eyes of a vulnerable little girl, not the smart girl who'd untangled the detective only minutes before.

"I just want to give her the money back. It's my goodbye."

Olivia looked at Elliot who was standing watching Munch and Fin interrogate Allison, she wasn't giving in. Walking Eleanor over to the box room, the girl watched her mother with a sad fascination. "Do you think she ever loved me?"

"I'm sure she still does sweetheart, it's just..." again Eleanor interrupted, this time with a small sob.

"She loves the alcohol more." Eleanor paused, her breath shaky as tears threatened her, "Can I see her?"

Elliot shot a look at Olivia, Olivia nodded. Elliot opened the door, stepping out from behind him, Eleanor saw her mother. Dry mouth, sunken eyes and in need of a wash.

"What the hell have you done? You're a dirty liar!" Allison screamed from across the table.

Eleanor didn't move, no tears threatened her now, she slipped inside the door, brave under the protection of Elliot and slid the ten dollar bill across the table. "You can buy your own beer from now on." the girl's voice cold, her eyes glaring at the woman who gave birth to her.

"You're scum! You lied to them, got my ass dragged down here. Tell them it's all lies El! TELL THEM!" Allison shot spittle across the table at her daughter, Munch and Fin standing next to the woman. "If you tell them it's lies, I'll forget all of this, we can make it all go away, like this never happened."

Eleanor felt a lump rise in her throat, "Do you mean that?"

Olivia stared at Eleanor, '_No, she's lying_.' she thought to herself, almost trying to project her thoughts into Eleanor.

Allison stood up and made her way over to her daughter, she touched her hair and held her tightly, "Yes, Yeah I mean it, we'll go back to the way things were, right before all this happened, just tell them you made a mistake baby. I promise everything will go back to normal."

Eleanor stepped out of her mother's embrace, "Liars go to hell. I've been living there, what makes you think I'd want to go back?"

Allison launched herself at her daughter, lashing out and screaming.

Eleanor ran from the room, finding a small bin and vomited. Olivia stroked the girl's back and held back her hair. Eleanor wiped her mouth, standing and facing Olivia, her eyes red, Eleanor felt and looked small, vulnerable and scared. A silent connection formed in that second between Olivia and Eleanor, throwing herself in Olivia's open arms, she sobbed into her.

Elliot stood watching, he sighed softly to himself knowing his earlier advice was a waste of breath. Olivia was already too attached and too personally involved. He watched as she comforted Eleanor and lead her out of the one – six.

* * *

Pulling up to Olivia's apartment block, Eleanor stared out the window. "This is where you live?" she asked dreamy, almost lost in her surroundings.

"Yeah, this is home." Olivia gave a small smile.

"I hope your couch is comfy." Eleanor smiled back, her stomach rumbling loud enough for both to hear.

"You can take my bed, I'll change the sheets. And, I'll find you something to eat too."

"You'd make a good mom." Eleanor said softly.

Olivia smiled, "Maybe one day."

"Do you like kids?"

"I like most people. Age is as irrelevant to me as nationality and religion." Olivia took a breath in, took out her keys, locked the car and made her way up the few steps to the main door. "Let's get in the warm."

Eleanor followed Olivia to her front door, she stood there for a second admiring the clean, fresh smelling apartment.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked.

"Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to take in what normal looks like."

Olivia smiled, "I'm really not a good cook, I'll order in. What do you like? Chinese? Indian? Thai?"

Eleanor blushed, "I haven't had a hot meal in years, to be completely honest, I've never had take out. I tried a pizza once at a sleepover. I like them."

"Pizza it is then. I'll get a cheese one and pepperoni, then you can have a bit of each and if you like it, we can have it again whenever you want."

Smiling Eleanor nodded, "Sounds good to me."

* * *

Two hours passed, Olivia changed the bed sheets in her room, set up on the couch, cleared the pizza boxes and soda cans into the trash and settled with Eleanor in front of the TV.

"I never wished for a TV. The girls at school would always talk about their favourite shows, and hot guys, but it never interested me."

"What did you do with your free time?" Olivia asked.

"I like to read, real crime stories, novels, anything. What can you learn from a TV show about a bunch of fake people shirtless, tanned up to the eyeballs, and who have more muscle than brains?"

Olivia smirked, "You're an old woman trapped in a teenagers body!"

Eleanor grinned nudging Olivia, "No fair, I'm just a regular kid, it's all the other kids who've filled their heads with useless information who make me look old."

The two laughed together, Eleanor drifted off to sleep and slipped into Olivia's arms. Olivia stroked Eleanor's hair for ten minutes, the TV show ended, with a small whisper of her name, Eleanor woke up.

"Let's get you to bed sweetheart." Olivia spoke softly. Eleanor said nothing, she walked sleepily with Olivia into the bedroom, she let Olivia tuck her in and kiss her forehead softly.

"Goodnight Eleanor."

"Night Liv."

Olivia left the bedroom door slightly open incase the young girl woke up disorientated and unsure of where she was; then settled back down on the couch pulling up the duvet so it caressed her face. She opened the drawer the lamp sat on and pulled out her diary.

'_Dear Diary._

_My second day at work really took an emotional toll on me. I don't think my heart is capable of taking a lot more. _

_I'm still working closely with Eleanor, there's something about this girl that I just don't get. But it's not a bad thing, she's smart. Smarter than I gave her credit for. _

_Elliot was brilliant today, he said what I needed to hear and lifted me out of the emotional funk I've fallen into. Then he told me not to get too close to Eleanor, but I think he knows full well, I'm already in neck deep. I'm not yet drowning. _

_I've worked hundreds of cases, thousands even, but none of them have hit me this hard. None of the victims have effected me like Eleanor has. Today she did something I wished I was strong enough to do, she said enough was enough and walked away. I don't know how long she'll stay away, but she did it. It's a lot more than I ever did. I waited it out, and as much as I loved my mom, and still do, I wasn't strong. I admire her, she's wise beyond her years, I know her story, but I'm not sure I'll ever really know her. _

_Until tomorrow._

_OB._'


	4. Learn

**A/N: Thank you to all of you who have read, reviewed, followed and favourited this story. It means so much when I see the emails from fanfic telling me who reviewed, ect. I know there has been a delay with updating, I've got a little behind, but I'm catching up again. I hope you enjoy this chapter; as always, if you have a spare minute after you've read, please leave me a review and let me know what you think.**

** Beth. **

* * *

"Morning sweetheart." Olivia said hearing creeping footsteps back from the bathroom.

"Wow, you're good." Eleanor smiled.

"You hungry?"

"A little." Eleanor shuffled on her feet slightly.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" Olivia asked concerned.

"No, nothing's wrong. I saw you have a bathtub, and I was wondering if you don't mind of course, if I have a bath. It's okay if you say no, it's just in my mom's we had a shower and I was lucky if the water was warm."

Olivia smiled getting up and finding two towels and a bathrobe; she placed her hand on the girl's shoulder, "If you want a bath, you're welcome to have one." Olivia smiled, "Bubbles or no bubbles?"

Eleanor's face lit up, "You're treating me like I'm rich! Hot water and bubbles." Eleanor let out a small giggle. Eleanor surprised Olivia with her seriousness and sincerity.

Olivia didn't tell Eleanor she was treating her like a normal human being, instead she found three different bubble baths, all a different scent and let the teenager choose. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"I don't know, honestly, my mom was never awake for breakfast and the majority of the time, I'd be cleaning up the bottles or the puke till early evening most days. What do regular people have for breakfast?"

"Well, I wouldn't call myself regular or normal, anything you think of, no matter how crazy or out there it is, let me know and I'll get it."

Eleanor smiled, she watched as Olivia turned on the hot water tap, followed by the cold. Eleanor reached out for Olivia's hand and smiled softly, she leant in for a cuddle. She felt Olivia's arms wrapped around her. "I wish you could have been my mother."

Olivia teared up, "If I was your mom, you wouldn't be you."

"But I'd be happy."

Olivia held both Eleanor's shoulders, "It's easy to say this now, but your struggles have made you who you are. You've learned from them and grown from them. You're a very special young lady Eleanor, your mom is a fool not to see it."

Eleanor smiled, "You're very kind Olivia. You don't have to..."

Olivia smiled and shook her head, "Listen to me, I'm not doing anything. I'm telling you the truth, it's about time someone did. I'll tell you one thing, if you were my daughter, I'd have made sure you were loved and kept safe." Olivia gently, lovingly stroked Eleanor's face, "Go and have your bath."

'_Dear Diary,_

_I wish Eleanor knew her own self worth, she's an amazing child. She's so smart and can't see passed what her mother has made her believe. I wish I could help her see just how special she really is. _

_She really is an adult trapped in a teenage body. I hate what she's been put through, and what's it been for? Her mother's own gain. That girl has nothing. She practically begged me for a hot bath, no one should ever be left without the basics to survive. I hate to say it, but I feel sorry for her. It's not something I would ever let on to, she doesn't need pity, she needs a strong standing woman in her life, she needs a mother._'

"Olivia." a small voice came from the bathroom.

Olivia turned and smiled, "You okay?" she asked softly putting down her pen and closing the diary shut.

"Can we just stay here today?"

Olivia tilted her head to the right slightly, "Of course we can."

"I have a small problem."

Olivia nodded softly, "What is it?"

"I don't have any clothes here other than the ones I wore yesterday, and I slept in those..."

Standing up Olivia went into her bedroom followed by Eleanor, she opened the closet door and found a shirt folded up. "This is one of my most comfy shirts." Giving the shirt to Eleanor, the teen unfolded it and grinned as she saw NYPD printed across the breast. "Are you okay in sweats? I'm not sure any of my other clothes will fit you."

"Sweats are fine. I love this shirt." Eleanor said slipping it over her head, the towel still wrapped around her body.

Olivia smiled, "It suits you! I'll tell you what, we'll both have a sweats day today, then tomorrow after work, I'll take you shopping."

"You can't spend your money on me Olivia. As much as my mom sucks, she's still my mom. She should buy me clothes and make sure I get my three meals a day. I'm not your responsibility."

Olivia bowed her head a little, "Eleanor, you're in my house under my care. You're my responsibility. The fact of the matter is, I didn't want you to spend the rest of your teen life or even the next few days or weeks in foster care; I wanted you to feel cared for. I don't want you getting lost in the system, I want, no I will get justice for you."

"I don't know what to say." Eleanor said choked up.

Olivia embraced Eleanor, "You don't have to say anything, this is a new start. I promise you're safe here."

Olivia felt Eleanor's grip tighten around her, "I know." the girl murmured softly. As Eleanor pulled away, she looked at Olivia who wiped her tears away. "A new start calls for a new me. I've never really liked the name Eleanor."

"So what am I supposed to call you?" Olivia asked with a warm smile.

"Elle, or Ellie."

"Elle Rigby," Olivia said out loud, "Ellie Rigby. Which do you prefer?"

The girl shrugged, "Either, my mom was a huge Beatles fan. Eleanor Rigby was her favourite song, hence my name."

"I did wonder."

"I always preferred PP Arnold's version myself."

Olivia smiled, "So, Miss Ellie, what do you want for breakfast?"

Ellie smiled, "Bacon."

Olivia laughed a little, "Just bacon? Or you want something with it?"

"What do you have with it? I mean, I know what people can have it with, but what do you have it with?"

"Eggs normally. Do like eggs?"

"Never tried them to know." Olivia's shock registered on her face, Ellie smiled nervously, "I've always loved the smell of bacon, but I've never had a hot breakfast my entire life."

"Let's see if I can change that." Olivia went to the refrigerator and moved some things around on the shelves, "Bacon and eggs it is!"

* * *

Elliot flicked through the case file he had laid out in front of him, Allison Rigby wasn't talking and had been hauled to jail to sweat out a night in the cells. There were no leads, everything was riding on the DNA from the semen on Eleanor's clothes, and her rape kit.

Debating whether or not to call Olivia on her well deserved day off, Elliot picked up his phone four times, and put it back on his desk four times.

"Why so glum?" Munch asked as he made his way over to Elliot, two coffees in hand.

"We've got nothing to go on with this case. Even if we get a court order for Allison to talk, I doubt it will get us anywhere."

"You just have to play the game differently."

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked confused.

"The rules are simple, she won't talk to us because if she talks and her John goes to jail, then she loses business." Munch said holding Elliot's full attention.

"Right..."

"So we make up a new rule, unless she gives us one name, we go through her entire black book and bring every John in for testing."

"How do we get the book? We don't even know if she has one."

"We don't need one. We tell her we have security footage from surrounding streets and shops and we're running all the faces of all the men that headed in her direction in the DMV database and are willing to talk to every one of them to get to the truth."

Elliot, clearly shocked he hadn't thought of this stood up and smiled. "You're a genius."

"So I've been told."

"You want to come with?"

"Sure, it's been a while since I went on a road trip." Munch handed Elliot the coffee he'd bought for him and headed out the one – six doors.

* * *

Olivia made bacon and eggs for her and Ellie, they sat down together and ate. Every now and then Olivia would catch Ellie looking up at her with a small twinkle in her eyes.

"Shall I wash up?" Ellie asked.

"No, I'll do it later." Olivia said dumping her plate in the sink. "Is there anything you need?"

"What do you mean?"

"From your mom's house? School books? Clothes?"

"I'm home schooled. Well, meant to be. My mom claims money for equipment, but what she buys is drugs."

Olivia looked at the girl, "I'll tell you what, we'll head over to the house later, and you can get whatever you want."

"All I want are my books. I was in the middle of reading Last Hope, by Jasmine Peters."

Olivia smiled softly, "You let me know when you want to go, and we'll go."

"Okay." Ellie looked at Olivia, before Olivia could talk, Ellie began; "When will I have to do a sketch?"

Sighing, Olivia gave a small shrug, "We're hoping your mom talks today, my partner Elliot is trying his best so you don't have to."

"But even if she names him, I'll still have to do a line up, right?"

Nodding Olivia said, "Yes."

Ellie put her hand over Olivia's hand, "You don't have to look so defeated, I know this is all part of your job. I can see his face clear as day. I don't like what he did to me, but I'm not scared of him. I have no reason to fear someone who has already done the worst thing possible to me. There is nothing else he could do to me now."

"You're a very brave, smart young lady, you know that?"

Ellie smiled softly, "I'm just me."

'_I can't remember where my train of thought was heading earlier. I said that Ellie needs a mother figure, but to be honest, I'm not so sure she does. She proves to me with every sentence that she is a mature young lady, wise beyond her years. _

_I know Elliot told me not to get too close, but the thing is, I already am. I'm intrigued and fascinated by her. I don't think it's her that needs a mother right now. I think I need to mother her. Or at least, I have a burning desire to know as much as I can about this girl. _

_I think I've broken down Ellie's barriers, to be honest, I'm not sure what to think. She cried today, when I see her cry, my heart feels like it's thumping so hard in my chest, like I have so much love to give this child._

_The only thing that's stopping me from truly loving her, is that the only man good enough to be a father to her, is Elliot. And well, we all know that that is never going to happen. I think I should give up the fight with him, it's endless torture is pulling me apart. How do I tell him, I'm completely, madly in love with him?_

_I guess I'll never know..._

_OB._'

* * *

**A/N: So what did you all think? This update is slightly longer than my other chapters. This chapter is really getting to know Ellie and Olivia, their relationship and potential relationship. Do you think Olivia, Elliot and Ellie would make the perfect family? Can Olivia tell Elliot how she really feels? **

**Find out soon. Please review. xo**

**** For those who may question the diary entry at the bottom, if you remember, Olivia was interrupted earlier by Ellie, so she picked up where she left off. ****


	5. MugShot

Elliot and Munch pulled up outside Bedford Hills Correctional Facility for Women where Allison Rigby was being held. It hadn't taken long getting to Westchester county with Elliot driving, now he had his game play, his new substitute parter and new found confidence on his side. Feeling unstoppable, Elliot and Munch were escorted to Allison Rigby.

"Orange really isn't your colour!" Munch commented playfully.

Allison sneered at the man, "Sarcasm doesn't suit you detective." she retorted.

"Really?" Munch turned to Elliot, "I thought I was rather good at it. Didn't you?"

"I thought so." Elliot smiled.

"What do you want? I got a shit load of nothing to get on with, and trust me, I'd rather be doing that, than this."

"You don't know what this is yet, it could be life changing." Munch said sitting opposite the woman in a jumpsuit.

"Doubt it."

"Doubts are usually peoples downfalls." Munch said getting comfortable on the wooden chair.

Elliot sat down beside Munch and looked at Allison, he said nothing; the hate for her grew. He couldn't understand how a mother could do this to her only child.

"I got something on my face detective? Or you just like staring?"

"Sorry, I tend to stare at things I don't like, or understand." Elliot said coldly.

"Seriously, what you drag me out here for?"

"We have something to offer you." Munch said taking the lead.

"Go on." Allison said giving him her full attention.

"You give us the name of the man who raped your daughter..."

"No chance." the woman said shutting down.

"I haven't finished." Munch said, "You give us his name, or we'll take the security footage of all the surrounding streets and we'll pull in every man who even looks like he's heading in the direction of your house; we'll make sure we go back months, years if we have to."

"Like you've got time to do that."

"We've got nothing but time. See, we've made it our personal duty to bury you and the scum you call clients. It's really no big deal."

"Do it then."

"I like a challenge." Munch said to Elliot.

"Me too." Elliot replied.

"Although, it would be easier if she told us, but that guy, what's his name...?"

"The shop keeper? Mark Philips."

"Yeah, that's the guy, he said he archives all his security footage, he has the shop almost opposite her house right?"

"Yeah he does, with the cameras pointing up and down the street, then the revolving one that every three seconds shows the Rigby house." Elliot played along with Munch.

Allison Rigby was getting more and more annoyed, but fear was undeniably rising in her. The more the detectives talked about cameras, the more scared she became.

"Jason! His name is Jason Williams."

Elliot and Munch smiled, "Sorry, did you say something?" Elliot's smirk growing.

"I said his name is Jason Williams! He's a regular."

"If he checks out, and you co-operate, you could be out of here in a couple of weeks." Munch informed.

"Whatever! Can I go now?"

"Sure, I'm sure you have a lot of bricks to count." Munch added.

* * *

"Olivia..." A small voice said, seemingly in the distance.

Olivia woke up, still dreamy eyed she looked up seeing a young face. "Ellie?" sitting bolt upright Olivia looked at the girl, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. Your phone's been ringing for twenty minutes, I tried to wake you but you must have been tired."

Olivia smiled, "I was out like a light." Olivia picked up her phone and saw the eleven missed calls from Elliot. Worried she'd missed something really important or detrimental to the case, Olivia pressed the number one, and speed dialled Elliot.

"Olivia. Glad I caught you. Are you okay?" he asked concerned.

"Everything's fine, I was sleeping. What's up? Has something happened?"

"Allison Rigby talked. Me and Munch paid a visit to her today, got back about five minutes ago. I've got a mug shot, you think you could bring Eleanor in?"

Olivia held her hand over the speaker, "Ellie, I need you to come into the station today to ID someone, are you up for it?"

Ellie stood glued to the spot, doubting it would have ever got this far, Ellie was happy living in the bliss of Olivia's home. She nodded herself out of the trance she'd fallen into.

"Yeah, yeah okay." she said softly.

Olivia removed her hand, "I'll get dressed and bring her in. Give me an hour?"

"An hour?" Elliot repeated with a small laugh, "Are you dressing an Army?"

"Shut up." Olivia laughed back, "I'll grab a shower and bring her in."

"See you soon." Elliot said hanging up the phone.

"Ellie?" Olivia called out. She had no answer, but seeing the bedroom door shut, Olivia knocked gently, then entered. "Ellie, are you okay?"

"You don't have to knock, it's your bedroom."

Olivia smiled, she saw Ellie sitting at the foot of the bed with her knees pulled up to her chest. Olivia joined her, giving her a small smile. "What're you doing down here?"

"They're going to put me into a foster home aren't they? When this is all over I mean."

"I don't know sweetheart." Olivia said truthfully knowing there was little need to mother Ellie.

Ellie sniffed softly, "I like it here, I like the stability and the calm. You're like the mother I always wanted. I knew this was never going to be permanent, but I kinda want it to be."

Olivia put her arm around Ellie's shoulder and pulled the girl in to her arms. Not knowing what to say, Olivia let Ellie find comfort in her.

"You don't have to think about this, you have a big day ahead of you. We can talk about this when we get home."

Ellie pulled out of the embrace, "But it's not my home, is it?"

Olivia sighed softly, "It can be for as long as you want it to be. You're sixteen and you do have a say in what happens to you."

"Promise me one thing?"

"What?"

"That no matter what happens or where I end up, you won't let me go back to my mom?"

"I promise." Olivia said meaning every word.

* * *

Elliot met Olivia and Ellie at the doors of the one – six. Elliot took Ellie to the small box interrogation room where he explained what was going to happen.

"I have a laptop with fifty mug shots on it. I need you to look at all of them, and if you see the man who raped you, I need you to point him out. Can you do that?" Elliot asked.

Ellie nodded, "Yes."

"Good girl." Elliot said bringing over the laptop.

Olivia sat with Ellie as she went through the photos, one by one Ellie shook her head in the negative. Feeling a cold hand, Olivia looked seeing Ellie gripping hers. "If it's too much Ellie, you can stop."

"No, I'm okay." Ellie continued looking through the photos until she gave Olivia's hand an unexpected squeeze, "Stop! That's him!" Ellie had pointed to a photo of a man who was not Joseph Williams, she had pointed to Leo Johnson; a uniformed police officer.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading the next chapter of Recovery, as you can see this chapter doesn't have a diary entry, not all of them will, but I hope you've liked this. Some of you may be wondering about Olivia's emotions, you will start to see a lot more of them very shortly when the case takes it's natural twists and turns. **

**Stay tuned and as always, if you have the time please review. xo**


	6. Terror

**A/N: Thank you for all being patient with me. I know it's been a while since I updated, and I know I have a lot of stories going on, and if you're reading them all, I hope you're keeping up with them all. From my personal point of view, I know it can be hard, but I want to thank you for your support and reviews.**

* * *

Olivia and Elliot shared a look, they were not expecting Ellie to point out an officer. His photo was only in the line up to bulk it out.

"Ellie, are you sure this is the man?" Olivia asked softly, trying to conceal her shock.

Ellie nodded, "That's him." she paused, "You weren't expecting that were you? You know him." Elliot stood up not knowing what to think or say.

"Your mother gave us a name." Elliot began trying to choose his words carefully. "You didn't pick the man we were expecting you to, that's all."

"No, I can tell there's something more to this, you know him. You both do." Ellie's mind ran off, then it clicked. "He's a cop isn't he?" When there was no answer, Ellie ran.

"Ellie!" Olivia called after her. "What do I do?" she asked her partner. "Do I go after her?"

"She might need some time."

"What if she runs into Leo? Is he working today?" panic ran through Olivia's body, that's when Olivia realised, she wanted to mother Ellie. She wanted to be a mother. Olivia ran through the one – six and burst through the doors.

"Ellie wait!" Olivia said finally catching up to Ellie.

Ellie's face was streamed with tears, "What Olivia? What are you going to do? Arrest your cop friend? Who's going to believe me over a cop? I'm a nobody! I'm a whores daughter, and now thanks to my rapist, I'm going to be called a liar!"

"Ellie, please calm down." Olivia soothed.

"How can I be calm, no one is going to believe me now. I might as well just forget the whole thing and move on. I'll leave New York and just forget it all."

"Stop! Ellie listen to me." Olivia said looking directly into the girl's eyes, "I believe you, and so does my partner. If you run away now, you'll never get justice. I believe you and I'll stand by you one hundred percent. Trust me Ellie." Olivia held out her hand and smiled softly.

"I do trust you." Ellie sighed, "Can you get a conviction? How likely is it? I can't put myself through all of this for it all to be worthless."

"You're too grown up, y'know that?" Olivia smiled, "Let me do my job, it makes no difference to anyone if he's a cop or not, being a cop doesn't change the fact he's a rapist."

Ellie agreed, Olivia made a call to Elliot and told him she was taking Ellie back to the apartment, but the ID was positive to Leo, the uniformed officer.

"Elliot, we need to talk." Munch said, with Olivia still on the phone, Elliot looked concerned.

"The Rigby case?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah. That Olivia? She needs to hear this."

"Liv, you still there?"

"Yes." Olivia said feeling fear course through her veins.

Elliot signalled to Munch to talk, "Allison Rigby's dead. She was in transit to court following the charge of prostitution when she was shot dead."

Elliot looked at Munch, "How the hell did that happen?"

"Leo Johnson was..." Munch started.

"Leo? Ellie positively identified him as her rapist." Elliot informed Munch.

Olivia listened in to the call, with Ellie at her side, she refused to react. "Elliot, call me back when you know more."

"Is everything okay?" Ellie asked softly.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Olivia lied. "Lets go and get something to eat."

* * *

Olivia and Ellie arrived at a small restaurant, it was quiet with only one couple sitting in it. Olivia and Ellie were seated by a middle aged man; they sat at the table, the air was filled with spices.

The waiter gave the two of them a menu then left the table.

"You can have whatever you like." Olivia said sifting through the menu.

Ellie looked, "I've never had any of this stuff." she smiled softly, "My mom never took me anywhere, and she never cooked."

"If you like pasta, try the pasta supreme, it's really nice." Olivia recommended.

"Have you both decided?" the waiter asked, barely controlling his tongue as he licked his lips finding himself very attracted to Olivia.

"Yes, two pasta supremes please. A diet coke and a water."

"Anything for you and your sister." he not so subtly flirted.

"Thank you. That's all." Olivia said feeling her hands start to sweat.

"He's creepy." Ellie said looking at Olivia feeling odd, she saw the change in Olivia and started over thinking. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Olivia lied, "I'm fine."

"Your drinks." the waiter said placing them on the table, his gaze never leaving Olivia's. As he walked away, he let his hand stroke Olivia's back.

Olivia stood up instantly reacting, then sat back down saying nothing. Sweat beads began forming on her forehead. "Sorry." she mumbled.

Ellie looked confused, "I don't like it here, I want to leave." she said feeling more uncomfortable.

"We've ordered now. We'll eat, then go."

"Olivia, please..."

"Ellie, please, be quiet." Olivia snapped.

Ellie found herself completely uncomfortable, as the waiter came back with their food, he placed both of the plates on the table, then reached for Olivia's napkin; he shook it loose then placed it on her lap. As he did, he groped her thigh sending Olivia into a relapse of shock and terror as the ordeal from Sealview flooded her memory.

Olivia sprung to her feet, grabbed the waiter by his arm and pushed him down face first into the plate of food. Her breathing erratic as she stood over his body, the man shouting and screaming to let him go.

Ellie started sobbing, fear rose in her as her first and only hero snapped. She stood up and backed away from the table. She watched as Olivia snapped hand cuffs on to the waiter, "I'm arresting you for the sexual assault of a police officer." Olivia was so caught up with her arrest that she didn't notice Ellie had left.

* * *

Olivia had called Elliot who had picked up the waiter and taken him into the one – six. Finding herself scared, and shaken, Olivia got in her car and slumped over the steering wheel, tears pouring from her eyes. She drove home, her eyes burning from the hot tears that wouldn't cease.

'_Dear Diary._

_I've lost Ellie. I have no idea where she is. I should be looking for her, but I think I really scared her today. If I was as strong as I thought I was, I'd be looking for her; but instead I'm hiding here. If I don't find her, it means I don't have to talk about what happened to me, I don't have to tell her why I flipped out. _

_I know I should. She's smart enough to understand, but I'm not strong enough to tell her. _

_I gained her trust, I made her feel safe, then shattered that in a matter of seconds. I should write her a letter, or find the strength to tell her._

_It's time to talk._

_OB.'_

* * *

Olivia spent only ten minutes looking for Ellie before she found her. She parked up, got out the car then walked over to Ellie and sat beside her.

"Hi."

Ellie looked at Olivia, "Hi."

Olivia leant back against the large tree next to Ellie, "I'm sorry if I scared you today. I think I have some explaining to do."

"No you don't. I'm not coming back with you."

"Ellie please, this is all a big mistake." Olivia took a deep breath in. "Last week I was attacked, I was undercover and I was assaulted. When the waiter..."

"It's fine. Please stop." Ellie said forming her own image.

"No, it's not okay. Ellie, I wasn't ready to go back to work, but I couldn't say no. I want to help you and I will. I just don't want you to be scared, not of me."

"I'm sorry Liv, I'm not scared of you, I'll never be scared of you. You're my hero."


	7. Promises

**A/N: Hi guys, lately I've been trying to update a lot more often, if you read my other fics, you will have seen I've updated Writer's Block, and Kidnapped. I am also writing an Amaro's Secret update, but I'm finding that the motivation isn't flowing as easily as my other fics. But it is coming, I promise. Thank you to everyone who reviews, I really do appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you think. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask, I will get back to you in my next authors note. **

* * *

Olivia got up from where she was sitting with Ellie, she reached out her hand and Ellie took it. Smiling softly, Olivia looked at Ellie. "I won't let you down Ellie, I know there are a few things I need to sort out, but you have my full attention, I will get you justice."

Ellie couldn't help but lower her head, she had so many thoughts running through her head, she got in Olivia's car, she sat down and everything seemed to go blank, she finally let go of all her inhibitions and cried. "Olivia, I'm scared." she admitted.

"I know you are Ellie." Olivia soothed, "But you have me, and I'm going to make everything right." Olivia paused, "I know you don't have any reason to trust adults, I know you've suffered, but I'm here to make things better. I can't take away your pain, I can't turn back time and stop you from being attacked, but I can help you move on and make a better future for yourself. I know that when you're attacked the world seems like a very scary place, that there is no one you can trust, and you're constantly waiting for the next attack, but it doesn't have to be like that. You've taken the first step, you've reached out and talked to me; you're not alone any more, you have me and Elliot and we're going to make sure you get justice. You're not alone, I promise."

Ellie looked at Olivia, she knew she could trust her; there was a deeper connection between them than she had realised before, Olivia was in the same boat as she was. Ellie couldn't help but relate to Olivia, and feel closer to her at the same time, tears fell from her eyes. "I don't know if I should say this, but I wish you were my mom." Ellie whispered.

Olivia felt a lump rise in her throat, tears threatened her eyes, then as she blinked, fell freely. She found herself not being able to say anything, so she pulled Ellie into her loving embrace letting her know she was finally safe, and loved. Olivia looked at Ellie, "Just because I'm not your biological mother, doesn't mean I can't be your mom." Olivia felt Ellie's grip tighten slightly, she kissed the young girl on the top of her head and held her until her phone rang. That's when Olivia remembered, she hadn't told Ellie, her mother had been killed by Leo, the man identified as Ellie's rapist. Ellie pulled away from Olivia and wiped her tears, "It's Elliot." Olivia told her.

"What've you got?" Olivia asked rather than her usual, 'Benson' when she answered the phone.

"Leo Johnson was transporting Allison Rigby to the court, on the way there was a crash. Two men in Halloween masks crashed into the van, they shot Allison at point blank rage, one bullet to the head."

"What about Leo?" Olivia asked. Ellie seemed to sit up a little more in her seat hearing her rapist's name.

"He was shot in the arm, he's in hospital now, he's stable and said to make a full recovery."

"Thanks Elliot." Olivia said hanging up the phone. She turned to Ellie who was pale with red eyes.

"What is it? Something's happened hasn't it?"

Olivia looked at Ellie, her eyes melting, just as her heart seemed to be mending, it was about to shatter again. "Ellie, your mom was, she was being taken to court today to stand trial for prostitution, on the way the transport van was crashed into. Your mom was shot." Olivia said feeling that lump rise in her throat again, she could see every word hitting Ellie like a brick to the stomach, "Ellie, your mom was killed."

Ellie's bottom lip quivered a little, she instinctively brought her knees up and hugged them. Silent tears fell from the young girl's eyes. Olivia sat not knowing what to say, she didn't know whether to put her hand on Ellie's back for comfort or leave her. "That's not all is it?" she asked Olivia. She raised her head and looked at Olivia. "You said his name, he killed her didn't he?"

Olivia felt lost for words, "No Ellie, there were two men who crashed into the van. One of them shot your mom, the other shot officer Johnson."

Ellie looked at Olivia completely shocked, she opened her mouth to speak, but no words would come out. She choked up a sentence, "Is he dead?"

"No, he's stable in hospital. Elliot's going to arrest him now."

"Why was he even transporting her? I made the ID, he shouldn't have been anywhere near her!" Ellie blurted.

"I know sweetheart, but your mom was being transported at the time you made the ID. We didn't know he was escorting her until the news came in about your mom. Ellie, I'm so sorry." Olivia reached for her hand but Ellie snapped it away quickly.

"It's not your fault. As much as I hated her for what she let happen to me, she's still my mom. No one can change that, as much as I wish you were my mom, because I know you'd make a really great mom, she still gave me life." Ellie sighed, "I'm glad he's not dead, death is an easy escape from justice."

Olivia looked at Ellie, a sense of pride washed over the detective, "I told you you were smart." Olivia smiled softly and looked at Ellie who held a blank expression on her face. "Ellie, things will get better."

"I don't know if I have a right to ask this, but please don't build me up for this case, then when it's over let me go into the system and forget all about me..."

"I promise you that won't happen." Olivia paused, "Lets go home." she started up the engine and began driving the short distance back to the apartment.

* * *

Elliot had got off the phone to Olivia, put his jacket on and picked up the keys to the Crown Vic that sat parked outside the one – six. He got in, then looked at his cell phone, he debated calling Olivia again to see if she was available to go to the hospital with him. He knew how much admiration Olivia had for Ellie, and thought she deserved to be there for the arrest. He put his phone back in his pocket, and decided Ellie probably needed Olivia more than he did.

Elliot pulled up to Mercy General where Leo Johnson was being treated, he parked the car in the underground lot and made his way to the nursing station. "Detective Stabler, I need to talk to Officer Johnson." he informed the middle aged nurse.

"Come through here." she told him, walking a few paces in front of the detective.

"How's he doing?" Elliot asked not really interested.

"He's fine. He had a through and through, he's been patched up, he's being discharged now."

"Thanks." Elliot said getting to the door of the private room; he walked in and looked at Leo sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You're not my doctor." Leo joked knowing who Elliot was.

"Leo Johnson, you're under arrest for the rape of a minor."

"What the hell Elliot? What the hell is going on?" Leo shouted.

Elliot pulled Leo from the bed and handcuffed him, "You do not have to say anything, but if you do, I will damn well make sure it's used in court. You have the right to an attorney, if you can't afford one, one will be provided for you." Elliot pushed Leo out of the door making sure he clipped his wounded arm on the door frame.

Leo let out a cry, "Elliot, buddy I haven't raped anyone! I'm a cop! Like you!"

Elliot swung Leo around against the wall, "You are nothing like me. You think your badge means you can rape little girls and get away with it. You think cuffs are sex toys, I don't! I think they're useful tools in arresting paedophiles like you!"

"Who the hell did I rape?" Leo shouted more agitated now.

"Well, I know of one victim, you can tell me about the others at the precinct." Elliot dragged Leo out of the hospital and down to the Crown Vic, his doctor had already discharged him and looked on in horror.

"I didn't rape anyone." Leo moaned in the back of Elliot's Crown Vic.

"You know you have a right to keep your mouth shut. You can talk all you want back at the precinct." Elliot snapped.

The rest of the journey was in silence, Elliot walked Leo through the one – six parading him for everyone to see. Elliot put him in a holding cell before calling Olivia; he sat at his desk and dialled her number. It rang three times before she picked up.

"Liv, it's me, I've got him in a holding cell. I want to do a line up." he told her.

Olivia was taken aback by Elliot's suggestion, "Ellie's already identified him Elliot." she said.

"Yeah, on a laptop Liv. I'll round up a few people and put them in a line up. If we can get two positive ID's we've got a solid case."

"Elliot, I've just told her about her mom, she's upset. She needs time."

"Olivia." Ellie's small voice from behind her. Olivia turned around, "What do I have to do?" she asked.

"Hold up Elliot," Olivia said turning to Ellie, "Ellie, Elliot has arrest Leo Johnson, he wants to put him in a line up so you can pick him out of it. If you don't want to, or need time, we can do it another time."

"I'll do it. I just want this to be over with."

"We'll be in in an hour Elliot." Olivia said hanging up the phone.

Elliot put the phone down and walked over to Munch; "I need your help?"

"If you're buying me dinner after we've done whatever you're going to ask me to do, the answer is yes." Munch said smiling leaning back on his chair.

"Whatever you want!" Elliot said with a small smile, "I need to round up a line up in an hour."

"Who's the suspect?" Munch asked.

"Leo Johnson."

"Officer Leo Johnson?" Munch questioned sitting up in his chair.

"The one and only. What do you know about him?"

"I know they tried him for rape a few years ago and it didn't stick."

"Then we have to make it stick now." Elliot said, both him and Munch got up and left the precinct. They already had two other officers for the line up, but needed two more men to join them, so they called in a favour to a couple of uniformed officers.

* * *

Olivia sat with Ellie on the couch in her apartment, the room was silent and awkward. "Olivia." Ellie began.

Olivia turned to face her, "What's wrong?" she asked, prompting her to talk.

"Do I have to do this line up because the laptop one wasn't enough?"

"No, my partner thinks that two identifications are better than one."

"Do you?"

Olivia thought for a minute, "I think he's trying to build the best possible case he can."

"Because Leo's a cop?"

Olivia couldn't lie, "I think so, yeah." looking at the young girl Olivia felt her emotions shift; "Ellie you know we're not putting you through more than we think you can handle. We want justice for you, just as much as you want it for yourself."

Ellie nodded, "I know life doesn't exactly go the way we planned, sometimes things change depending on the path we choose. I also know that sometimes we can't pick our own paths, because in situations like mine, people choose them for us. I didn't ask for this, but these are the cards I've been dealt in life. Sometimes I don't feel strong and I wish I could make it end, I wish I was strong enough to leave this world on my own terms and make all the pain go away, but I'm not that type of person; I have something inside me that tells me what I'm doing right now is better, that if I just run away I'll never get justice. I know that no matter how much I'm hurting now, tomorrow I won't hurt as much, and as each day goes by, I'll get stronger and I'll be thankful for every day I'm given. I guess, in the mess and confusion of it all, running away is the easiest option, but justice, that's the best way to end this ordeal. It's the only way to end this."


	8. Panic

**A/N: Hi guys, thanks for the reviews. I love reading them. This story is slightly different from my others as it focuses on emotions, more than the case itself. **

**_Amanda4Meloni_, you're right, the crash was convenient; but it needed to happen for this chapter of the story to help Olivia and Ellie bond further. **

**_T.D_ Thank you again for reviewing, you're one of my regular reviewers and I always appreciate your feedback.**

**_Becky1691_, as one of my regular reviewers I always look forward to your reviews, and I'm glad you love this story so much.**

**_DeLene_, Thanks for reviewing, I look forward to reading your reviews.**

**_BabiieZbeauty_, glad you liked this story and can relate. I hope I give you the ending you're hoping for.**

**Please review at the end of this chapter if you have the time.**

* * *

'_Dear Diary. _

_Yesterday was a very long, emotional day. I had to find Ellie after I scared her at the restaurant; then I had to explain why I had reacted the way I did. I know she's smart, but I don't feel like I'm ready to talk about what happened, even if she is smart enough to comprehend it. I feel like I can talk to her, but then in the same respects, I'm the closest thing to a mother Ellie has right now, and I don't want her to take the emotional responsibility of me. _

_I had to tell her, her mom was killed by her rapist. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do. Today, when she cried, I remembered she was just a child and I saw that in her tearful vulnerability. I wish I could open up to her in the way she needs me to, I need to find a way to let go of the pain of last week. I need to remember what it's like to be fearless, like nothing can hurt me. I need to find who I was before the attack. I need to put SealView behind me and find Olivia Benson again._

_O.B.'_

Ellie came out of the bathroom with her hair pulled back and a towel wrapped around her body.

"The bathroom's free." she informed Olivia. "Is it okay if I wear your shirt again? I don't have any clothes here."

Olivia smiled, "Of course, I'll take you clothes shopping when we're done at the precinct."

"You don't have to." Ellie said softly feeling the cold hit her bare arms.

"Go and dry off and get warm. And I know I don't have to, but I want to. You can't keep wearing my NYPD shirt." Olivia smiled, "You'll be the youngest Detective in the squad."

Ellie grinned, "I'm kinda growing fond of the idea of being a cop!" the teenager walked into the bedroom, pulled on a pair of old jeans and Olivia's shirt, brushed her hair and pulled it back into a pony tail. She left the bedroom and stepped out, "I think I suit this shirt, don't you?"

Smiling, Olivia agreed. "I do." standing up, Olivia looked at Ellie, "I have a jacket you can put on."

Olivia left the apartment with Ellie, she got in her car and drove to the precinct. As Olivia got out, she looked over at Ellie. "Sweetheart, if you're scared, or worried, you don't have to do this."

"I do, if your partner thinks this is for the best, then I have to trust him."

Olivia walked up to the squad room with Ellie; Elliot and Munch greeted them both.

"Sorry Liv, I couldn't find anyone to fill in the line last minute last night." Elliot said.

"We tried too, and Elliot is very trying when he's determined." Munch said with a smile.

"I bought you dinner didn't I?" Elliot joked with Munch.

"Yeah yeah, a pot of noodles and some cold curry! You're a real star Elliot!" Munch walked off to his desk digging out some popcorn.

"Ellie," Elliot began, "I'm going to take you into room two where we have lined up five suspects. Just like the ones on the laptop, if you recognise your attacker, you tell us."

"That's all?" Ellie asked.

"Yeah, it's that simple." Elliot said looked at the teen.

Alex Cabot walked over to Olivia and Elliot, "Hi Liv, Elliot. Sorry I'm late, are you set to go?"

"Alex, this is Ellie. Ellie," Olivia said, "This is ADA Alex Cabot, she'll be prosecuting your case."

Ellie smiled shyly, "Hello."

"Hi Ellie." Alex greeted her, "I'll be in the room with you when you make your formal identification." Alex smiled, her crisp voice stern and informative, Ellie nodded not knowing what to say.

Ellie took a deep breath and followed Elliot into room two. Olivia stood behind Ellie, "Are you ready?" Olivia asked softly.

"As I'll ever be." Ellie said, she turned around and looked at Olivia, she said nothing else, just reached for her hand. Olivia held it and gave Ellie's hand a small reassuring squeeze.

"Number one, step forward." Elliot said. Ellie shook her head instantly in the negative. "Number two step forward." Again, Ellie said no. "Number three, step forward."

Ellie stepped forward, she let go of Olivia's hand and stood in silence staring at the third man in the line up. She tilted her head slightly to the right. Elliot shared a look with Olivia, but said nothing. Ellie looked at the man, she felt a cold shiver run down her spine; she reached her right hand and pressed it against the glass. Silence persisted until Ellie drew in a deep breath, "That's him." Ellie began to shake, seeing him in person sent fear sky rocketing through her. She turned and fled into Olivia's arms, tears fell down her face; her breathing becoming erratic, Ellie started to panic.

"Ellie, calm down." Olivia soothed, "Take some deep breaths."

Ellie couldn't breath, her chest became tight, her lips went blue. Then everything went black.

* * *

"I want to make a deal." Leo told Alex.

"There is no deal! I've got your ass nailed to the wall for rape. What could you possibly have to offer me?" Alex asked casually.

"Allison Rigby. I know who killed her, I can ID the two guys." Leo said fearing the worst. "I want to make a deal, I don't know, cut whatever sentence you're trying to get me on for rape in half and I'll give you their names."

Alex smiled, she looked at Munch, Munch took the lead; "Officer Johnson, you really don't get how this works do you? I mean, you've just confessed to knowing who killed Allison Rigby, if you with hold that information, you're an accessory to murder. There is no deal moron!" Munch turned to face Alex; "You know what, it's cops like him that give us all a bad name."

Alex smiled, "I can see why. Leo, isn't your dad a cop?"

"Yeah, seventh generation cop me." he said proudly.

Munch looked at Leo, "I'd have thought seven generations later, you'd know what incriminating yourself is."

"So Leo, are you ready to confess." Alex asked.

"To what?" he asked with a smirk, "You might have caught me out once, but I promise you, it's the last time it will happen."

Alex felt her stomach flip as anger gripped her; she thought she had him, caught in a web of his own tangled confession. "You raped a sixteen year old girl and were involved in the murder of her mother. We've got everything you've said on tape, why don't you save us all some time and confess to what we already know?"

"Do you have any proof I raped the girl?" Leo asked relaxing in his seat.

"We have enough evidence on you to take you to court." Alex fired back.

"Take me to court then, because I'm confessing to nothing!" Leo thought for a minute, "You wouldn't need a confession if you weren't lacking some sort of evidence."

Munch sighed, "So now you start thinking like a cop." smiling Munch took a folder with 'NYPD' printed on the front of it, "This is your DNA jack off, what, you're one of those rapists that don't like condoms?"

Leo froze, "It was planted there."

"By who? The sex fairy?" Munch asked sarcastically.

"Look, I'll admit to sleeping with Allison Rigby, we were having an affair for six months, but that's all. Her creepy kid was always in the house. I used condoms with Allison, chances are, if you've got my DNA it's because that freaky kid planted it inside herself."

Alex looked at Munch, then back to Leo, "Have you ever been in Eleanor Rigby's bedroom?"

"Yeah, I've been in there, but only with Allison." Leo said.

"What time would you usually go into Eleanor's bedroom? Around four thirty when Eleanor was in her Mathletes practice?"

"Yeah." Leo replied.

"When was the last time you were in Eleanor's bedroom?"

"Two days ago." he replied smugly.

Alex moved across the room and picked up the police files on the desk; "You've just placed yourself in the victim's room at the time of her rape. I'm done here; I'll see you in court."

Leo sat back bewildered as he watched Alex leave the interrogation room. Munch got up and looked at Leo, "Eleanor Rigby is home schooled." he went to walk out of the room and turned as he reached the door, "Mathletes, really?!"

* * *

Olivia stroked Ellie's face, she took the damp cloth off her forehead and turned it over. Sighing softly to herself, Olivia realised just how much she cared about Ellie. She felt the butterflies in her stomach finally start to calm down, and the haze of concern was slowly lifting.

"She'll be okay you know, it was just a panic attack." Elliot assured Olivia.

"I know, thanks for carrying her up here." Olivia said calmly.

"I couldn't leave her down there." he said. Elliot looked at Olivia wanting to talk to her, he hadn't had a chance for almost two weeks now. He wanted to tell Olivia how he felt, but for a week after her attack and then the case with Ellie, she had had little time for him. "Liv, I need to talk to you, I don't know how to say it, I just need to."

Olivia looked at Elliot still holding Ellie's hand, "What is it? Is everything okay?" she asked feeling a knot begin to tangle itself in her stomach.

"Everything's fine; I'm just," he started, but Olivia interrupted.

"I know what you're going to say, and you don't have to. I know I've grown fond of Ellie, and maybe I should try and distance myself emotionally from her, but I don't think I can."

"Liv, that's not what I was going to say." taking a deep breath in, Elliot looked Olivia in the eyes, "We've been partners for years, and I know things haven't always been easy between us, sometimes I see black when you see white, but..." not knowing how to say what he felt in his heart Elliot stumbled for words, "Liv, I think I..."

"Olivia...?" a small voice said interrupting Elliot.

"I'm right here sweetheart." Olivia said softly, turning to face Ellie again. "Are you okay?"

"I need water." she mumbled.

Elliot stood up, "I'll go." he said, a look of dejection sat firmly on his face.

"Hey Elliot, is it important?" Olivia asked.

"Is what important?" he replied.

"What you were saying? Can we talk about it later?"

Elliot looked into Olivia's eyes and couldn't be angry with her, as dejected as he felt; he knew Olivia was the one, even though now wasn't the best time to tell her.


	9. Heart

**A/N: I want to thank you all for the great reviews on this fanfic. I know I have been slightly back and forth with my updates in the past, but I have found new inspiration to write this fic, and I hope you're enjoying reading it, as much as I am writing it. **

_**PrentissRose –**_** Thanks for the review, It was great to hear from you.**

_**Faviola**_** – You said you couldn't wait for the update, here it is!**

_**Becky1691**_** – Thank you for the review, it makes me really happy to see people react the way you have, and enjoy it as much as you are. And in response to you saying this is your new favourite fic, it's my favourite to write****.**

_**T.D**_** – I have tried to keep this story more focused on Ellie and Olivia, than Olivia and Elliot – and don't worry, the case is not over.**

**In reality, love isn't easy and I plan to push Olivia and Elliot to the limits of love to experience the reality of their relationship.**

* * *

Olivia sat and looked at Ellie, she smiled softly and handed Ellie the water Elliot had picked up for her. "Sip it sweetheart."

Ellie took the bottle of water, she sat up slowly and took a few sips of water. "Where am I Olivia?" she asked softly not recognising where she was.

"You're in the crib, Elliot carried you here after you blacked out. It's where we come and sleep when we can grab an hour on long cases." Olivia informed Ellie.

"Can we go home yet?" Ellie asked.

Olivia had to take a minute, it was the first time Ellie had called Olivia's apartment home. "Sure we can, just give yourself five minutes."

"Olivia, I'm fine, honestly." Ellie pleaded.

"Okay, well I need to talk to Elliot. Stay put, keep sipping that water okay!" Olivia said with a smile, she got up and left the crib, closing the door behind her. Olivia walked down the steps into the squad room, she scanned the room looking for Elliot; spotting him, she called his name.

"Liv, is everything okay?" he asked.

"Everything's fine; you wanted to talk to me." Olivia said rather happily.

"Yeah, Liv now's not a good time. Not here anyway, can I come over later?"

Olivia frowned, "Elliot what's going on?"

Elliot looked at Olivia, he froze for words, "Lets talk in the interview room." Elliot lead the way and held the door open for Olivia.

"Elliot you're worrying me." Olivia said softly.

"I know, I'm sorry it's just I'm," Elliot paused becoming frustrated, "Liv, we've been partners for years, and we've always worked well together, but there's something different now." he paused again.

"Elliot, is this because of Ellie?"

"No, not at all. Well maybe a little bit. She's not the problem, there is no problem. Liv, I'm struggling here." Elliot sat down, "When you were attacked, I felt responsible. If I had been there I could have stopped your attack, I'm your partner, I should have been there, it's me who should have had your back. It made me realise just how much I care about you, how much I... love you."

Olivia stepped back as his words hit her like a cold wind; "Elliot, I don't know what to say."

"Say you love me too." he said almost pleading.

"I do love you Elliot, of course I do, you're my partner and you have been for almost a decade. I've thought about my feelings for you in the past but I've buried those feelings because you're married and have a family."

"I don't love Kathy like I love you. I did, I wouldn't have married her if I didn't love her, but I've fallen out of love, and fallen head over heels for you." Elliot felt the panic rise within him; feeling like he'd made a mistake he stood up and ran his hands over his head. Finding the calm looking out the window, he stood there letting Olivia speak, feeling he couldn't muster up the right words to express his emotions.

Olivia sighed taking a seat, "I don't understand Elliot, when did this happen?"

"I don't know. I didn't wake up one day and think, I love Olivia, I have to tell her. It just happened, I lay in bed at night and think about you, when you're not here I feel like I'm missing a limb. Liv, I didn't plan this to make things difficult, I don't know, it might have been here the entire time, all I know is, my feelings for you have surfaced and I can't make them go away, more to the point, I don't want them to go away. I want you to tell me you love me too, and that you want to make this happen."

Olivia sighed softly feeling overwhelmed by confusion; "I know you didn't plan this Elliot, but..." she paused, "I'm scared."

Elliot turned around and went over to Olivia, he knelt down and put his hands on her knees; "Olivia I love you, and I know it's scary, I'm scared too, but I know you're worth it and I know we can make this work."

"No Elliot, you don't get it." Olivia stood up finding herself frustrated now, "Things have changed, I've got Ellie to think of now, my priorities have changed. I've got to go to court and testify against Harris, now's just not a good time."

"Olivia, it's never going to be a good time. I know you have Ellie, but I have Kathy and the kids, I need to find a way to sort out my marriage and make living arrangements. I'll wait as long as it takes to be with you, I love you."

Olivia stood up and walked away from Elliot, "If you can fall out of love with the woman you've been married to for twenty years and had kids with, what makes us any different? What's to say in a few years you won't fall out of love with me and break my heart?" Olivia shook her head in disbelief that she was even having this conversation.

"Liv, that will never happen, we've been through so much together; this isn't just an impulse." Elliot said pleading his emotions.

"I can't do this right now Elliot." Olivia left the interview room feeling confused, she remembered Ellie waiting for her and walked back up the stairs to the crib. "Are you ready to go?" Olivia asked with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

Ellie was sat up and smiled when Olivia came back, before she spoke she noticed the tears in Olivia's eyes. "What's wrong? Has something happened?"

Olivia froze, she didn't want to lie to Ellie, but felt the crib wasn't the best place to talk. "I'll tell you when we get home, I just need to get out of here."

* * *

Olivia and Ellie arrived back at the apartment in less than thirty minutes. Olivia opened the door and let Ellie in; she shut the door and took a beer out the fridge. She poured a glass of orange juice for Ellie then sat down on the couch.

"Spill." Ellie said wide eyed.

"What?" Olivia said taken aback.

"Something's happened, I'm guessing it was Elliot. I've seen the way he looks at you."

Olivia forced a smile, "It was Elliot. I'm not sure I should be telling you this."

"Think of me as your best friend, or your room mate." Ellie smiled sipping her juice.

Olivia took in a deep breath, "Elliot is married and has been for over twenty years, he has a family, he loves his kids, but today he told me he loved me. He wants to leave his wife and start a relationship with me."

"What did you tell him?" Ellie asked.

"I told him now wasn't a good time. I have you to look after, your case, my case. It's all out of nowhere, I walked out and left him there. I couldn't think straight, I'm so confused." she confessed.

"You do love him though, don't you?"

Forgetting who she was talking to, Olivia nodded, "I do love him, I have done for years, but he has a family and I knew I couldn't tell him because I couldn't disrupt his life like that. I've always felt the chemistry between us, but he's my partner not my husband. Anyway, I have you to take care of now." Olivia smiled and took a sip of her beer.

Ellie took Olivia's hand, "Olivia, if you love him, you have to put your whole heart into it. You have a chance to be loved, why not take the chance?"

"I suppose I'm worried, or scared. Or both."

"Why?" Ellie asked.

"Because I've known him for nine years roughly, and he's always been a family man, he's a proud dad and doting husband. I don't understand how he call fall in love with me, and fall out of love with Kathy. What if he falls out of love with me?"

"Maybe that's the chance you have to take. What's the point in having a heart if you're not going to use it? Yeah, it might hurt if it gets broken, but doesn't it hurt more if you never use it? I know once a vase is broken, it's impossible to fix it completely, and I guess the heart is the same, but you learn from mistakes. If you don't take a risk and make those mistakes, you'll never learn."

Olivia smiled and grabbed Ellie hugging her; she let tears slip down her cheeks. "You really are a very special young lady."

Ellie smiled and pulled out of the hug, "Olivia, don't let me stand in the way of love. You deserve someone who will love you for you, for everything you are, and everything you're not. Take a chance, and stop worrying about me, I'll be fine. I'm just passing by, Elliot could be forever."

Olivia sighed softly, "You're right." she smiled, "You're always right!" she laughed, she pulled Ellie back into a loving embrace. "Whatever happens, you'll always have a place in my heart, this isn't my home any more, it's our home."


	10. Flashback

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, I am so pleased you're all enjoying this story. I want to thank the new reviewers, and the ghost readers. I appreciate you all. I know you all want E/O and some of you want smut, I am exploring Elliot and Olivia's relationship differently to some writers. I feel this story has potential to really dig deep into the reality of the situation they are in, and the emotional side of things too. I'm going to explore Olivia's emotions as the trial gets imminently closer. **

* * *

**'**_Dear Diary,_

_Ellie has once again taught me more than I ever thought possible. She's a very smart girl, sometimes I wonder how she became so smart considering her mother home schooled her, and in that time, only taught Ellie how much beer one woman can take. _

_Oh, and bigger news than Ellie teaching me another lesson is Elliot. I've always wanted him, I've always dreamed of being with him, being involved with him in a relationship rather than a partnership. Today, he told me he loves me, he's fallen out of love with Kathy, and fallen in love with me. I'm shocked, I don't know what to say, I told him I wasn't ready for this, not now. Not with Ellie and my own trial, but I could see the pain and rejection in his eyes. I turned and ran. Literally ran. I couldn't bare to look at him, his eyes said everything I have felt every time he has spoken about Kathy or his kids. Every time he mentioned how happy he was with his family, I still remember how crushed I've felt, but yet I know in my heart, I can't be with him right now. I have Ellie to look after, and although she's a smart young lady, she's still only a child. I have my case to think about, I need to mentally prepare myself to face Harris. _

_Right now, I don't think Elliot is really thinking about me, and what's going on in my life. He's thinking about how he feels, and putting all his feelings out there, but I just can't reciprocate them. I don't want to speak ill of Elliot, I love him and always have, but he hasn't considered what I'm going through, all he's done is told me how he feels. It's just really bad timing. _

_I need to check on Ellie, then get some sleep myself. I'm shattered, and tomorrow I have a meeting with Alex to run through my statement with her._

_O.B._'

* * *

Olivia woke up the following morning with a headache, she pushed back the cover that had kept her warm throughout the night. She ran her fingers through her hair and pulled it back into a ponytail. Creeping slowly through the living room; Olivia went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Getting in, Olivia felt the water spray over her; the warm water beaded on her forehead then slipped down her face.

Ten minutes later, Olivia forced herself out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body. Leaving the bathroom, Olivia smiled as she saw Ellie on the couch, "Morning Ellie, you hungry?"

"Starving, I even had a dream about food." she laughed.

"I'll get dressed and make some eggs." Olivia said walking into her bedroom. She closed the door, got dried and dressed for work. Smelling bacon, Olivia popped her head out of the door, then walked out and into the kitchen. "Ellie?"

"I'm in here." Ellie called out.

"Are you cooking?" Olivia asked with a smile on her face.

"Maybe. I wanted to make you breakfast for a change. Anyway, you have to go to work and need a big breakfast to kick start the day. You have bacon, eggs and English sausage, toast and a fried tomato, just like they do in England."

Olivia's smile grew slightly bigger, "Have you ever been to England?" she asked sitting down at the small table.

"Nope, but one of my friends went a couple of years ago and sent me a postcard. I've always been interested in their history, plus, I kinda want to meet the Queen." Ellie giggled as she put a plate of food in front of Olivia.

"Well maybe one day we'll go." Olivia picked up her knife and fork and began eating. "Mmm, this is really good."

"I've always wanted to try it, but my mom never bought the food I needed." Ellie paused, "Olivia, are we going to do anything for Thanksgiving?"

"Damn it!" Olivia said suddenly realising she had forgotten all about Thanksgiving. "To be honest sweetheart, I haven't thought about it."

"It's okay, I've never had a Thanksgiving meal, so I'm not really fussed about missing the food. I'd always make a special effort and make a table decoration though, and when I ate my sandwich or whatever was in the house, I'd always give thanks, pray for a better tomorrow, and then eat."

Olivia carried on eating and flashed a smile, "I'll tell you what, I've had Thanksgiving booked off for a few weeks, why don't I see if we can get a small turkey and all the trimmings, we'll cook dinner together and have a cosy little dinner."

"That sounds awesome. We only have two days, I could go out today and get some potatoes and stuff."

"Are you sure?" Olivia said weary of letting Ellie go out alone.

"I'm sixteen, I'll be fine. Promise." Ellie confirmed.

"Okay, take the spare key, call me as soon as you get back, I'll write my cell phone number and my desk number down and leave it by the phone."

"Olivia, you're panicking. I'll be fine."

* * *

Olivia arrived at the precinct, she headed straight for her desk. Sitting down, she flicked through some files on her desk until she got to Ellie's. Reading through it she realised she hadn't seen any DNA results back from Warner. Picking up the phone, Olivia waited for Doctor Warner to pick up; after two rings, she heard the woman's tired voice on the end of the phone.

"Hi Melinda." Olivia said happily.

"Olivia, you sound happy. What can I help you with?" Melinda asked.

"Eleanor Rigby. I haven't had any DNA results back on her rape kit; please tell me you found some fluids."

"I take it you have a suspect, and you're waiting for me to name him." Warner said smiling, she picked up a manilla NYPD folder; "Liv, I don't think you're going to like this; the fluid in the rape kit is a positive match to officer Leo Johnson."

"Melinda, that's good news. Well, sort of. Ellie identified him as her rapist." Olivia felt a hand on her back and turned around, she saw Alex standing behind her. "Thanks Melinda, I'll be down to collect the results in about an hour." Olivia hung up the phone and turned in her seat. "Morning." she said still rather happy.

"Morning to you too chirpy. Why are you so happy?" Alex asked in her crisp voice.

"Just got a result on your next case, positive DNA match from a rape kit." Olivia informed.

"Good, that should make things nice and easy." Alex said not knowing the full case details. "Are you ready to go over your statement?"

"As I'll ever be." Olivia said, she got up and walked into the interrogation room closest to her desk. She went in and as Alex followed, she closed the door. Olivia took a seat wearily, "I get how intimidating this is now." Olivia confessed.

Alex smiled softly and sat down, "Liv, it's fine. Take a deep breath, and we'll start when you're ready."

Olivia closed her eyes, inhaled and then exhaled; she looked at Alex, "I'm good to go."

"Okay, you know Harris' lawyer is going to put a lot of pressure on you to contradict yourself. He's going to pull at everything he can, and he will try and tie you in knots. His name is Jeffrey Tuffin and he's the biggest jackass you're ever going to meet in a court room. Well, the biggest jackass who isn't on trial. He plays games, and he will make you relive every moment of your attack. I need you to be one hundred percent positive you can do this Liv."

Olivia listened carefully, "I can do this."

"Right, I've prepared some questions Tuffin might ask you." Alex opened her folder on the desk, she had hand written some questions, picking up the first sheet of paper Alex looked at Olivia. "These are designed for you to crack under the pressure, Tuffin will go around all the houses to get you to admit it was consensual, just stick to the truth, don't get agitated, and even if you feel like you're ready to hand him his ass, don't let it show."

"I know. Thanks Alex." Olivia said softly still trying to mentally prepare herself.

Alex stood up making her height over Olivia almost intimidating, "Detective Benson, tell me about the attack you claim you suffered whist in Sealview." Alex said making constant eye contact.

"Harris hand cuffed me, I was meant to be going to the hold in C block, but instead he took me into the basement. I thought he was moving me for protection, I asked him why he was taking me to the basement, rather than the hold, but all he told me was to shut up. I apologised for freaking out, but again he told me to shut up and do as I was told, that's when I saw the two mattresses, one on top of the other. I asked him what he wanted, and he said, '_What every guy wants_', then he grabbed my face, pushed his mouth against my ear and said, '_And you're going to give it to me_'. He became very physical with me, pushing me onto the mattress, I started screaming for help, I remember him laughing at me." Olivia felt a lump rising in her throat, she felt sick and took a deep breath in to mask the shaking in her voice. She blinked away the tears, then thought back to what happened next, "He had me by the throat, I'd managed to get up, I kept begging him, '_Please don't, please don't_', he leant in and tried to kiss me, I was still screaming for help. Harris took the cuffs off me, I turned around and hit him, I ran. I was crouched down hiding, and I could hear him pushing things over as he got closer, he said I was playing games and that I was welcome to play them, because he knew them all. He said the last one who tried to escape wound up dead. He said, '_The longer he has to wait, the harder it's going to be_.' He found me, I said, '_You win_' and got up, he said, '_That's more like it_' and told me to get out, so I did as I was told, with my hands raised above my head to show I wasn't a threat to him, then he beat me, I fell to my knees but as he got closer, I managed to elbow him in the stomach. Again, I ran, I got to the door and I was screaming '_Help me_', Harris came up behind me and hit me again; I fell to my knees, that's when he tried to force me to give him oral sex, then he said, '_If you bite me, you're dead_'. Then I heard Detective Tutuola, he saved me."

Alex stood in shock, she had read Olivia's statement, but seeing her pale with tears in her eyes hit hard. Alex had to shake herself back into reality as Olivia looked at her, "So you attacked my client, Mr Harris?" she said still role playing as Tuffin, not letting up on Olivia emotionally at all.

"I acted in self defence." Olivia replied blankly realising that no matter what she had been through, she was there to tell the facts as it happened. Her emotions made her vulnerable.

"You remember a lot of your attack in detail. Are you sure you're not filling in blanks with what you think might have happened?" Alex asked, she could feel a swarm of hornets in her stomach as she put her friend through so much pain.

"I remember it, exactly as it happened. It was the worst experience of my life, I will never forget a word he said to me." Olivia said finding her fighting spirit returning to her.

"You offered yourself to go undercover in Sealview, correct?"

"That's right." Olivia said.

"Why? You willingly put yourself in prison with dangerous criminals, for what exactly? To me this just sounds like you were on a glory search."

Olivia felt her blood beginning to boil, she felt the anger rise in her, she had to take a moment to remind herself that Alex was only trying to prepare her for court. "I went undercover because a woman had been raped by a prison officer."

"What did you mean by '_You win_'?

"What?" Olivia asked confused at the sudden change in questions.

"You told Mr Harris that he won. What did you mean by that?"

Olivia took a deep breath, "I wanted Harris to think I was being compliant and submissive, once he thought he was in charge, he relaxed enough to give me a chance of escape."

"Well done Liv." Alex said breathing a sigh of relief on her own behalf.

Olivia looked at Alex and felt her body slump slightly, "I'm glad that's over, if I was ever going to commit a crime, I'm not now, not if I have to go against you in court." Olivia said trying to smile.

Alex smiled, "I'm sorry, I know the questions were tough but I don't think mine are going to compare to Tuffin's. You need to be prepared, tell it exactly how it happened."

"I know Alex," Olivia said, "This isn't my first time in court."

"No, but it is the first time you've been on this side of the court room. If you need anything Liv, just call me."

"I will, thanks Alex." Olivia got up, wiped her eyes and walked out of the interrogation room. She went back to her desk and picked up the phone, she dialled her home number and waited for Ellie to pick up.

"Hello." Ellie said wearily.

"Ellie it's me. Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, I've just got back with all our Thanksgiving food. Are you okay? You sound like you've been crying."

"I'm fine sweetheart, it's just been an emotional start to the day. I have some good news for you, Elliot is in the area, he'll pick you up."

"Okay." Ellie said hanging up the phone.

* * *

Ellie arrived with Elliot at the one – six. Ellie made her way over to Olivia's desk, "What's the emergency?"

"No emergency, I have some good news for you." Olivia took a folder from her desk and opened it, "I have the results back from your rape kit, the DNA is a match to Johnson." Olivia closed the folder, "That's what we call a slam dunk."

Ellie threw her arms around Olivia's neck, "Thank you so, so much."


	11. Upheaval

**A/N: Here is chapter eleven of Recovery as asked for on twitter. I hope you like it and as always, please review if you have the time. I want to say Thank you to Anon2 for reviewing every chapter. I really appreciate and enjoy reading everything you guys have to say. **

* * *

Olivia smiled softly seeing Ellie so happy, "You don't have to thank me Ellie. It's my job."

"You've done more for me these last few days than anyone has my entire life. I have a lot to thank you for." Ellie said softly.

"Lets go home." Olivia said softly.

"Olivia, I need you to work a case, it came in this morning." Cragen frowned a little, "How many cases are you working?"

"I'm working the Rigby case, and preparing for my trial." Olivia informed.

"Okay, well I need you to work another case, how far into the Rigby case are you?" Cragen asked walking back into his office waiting for Olivia to follow.

Olivia did follow, she closed the door and looked at her Captain; "We have all the evidence we need to go to court, I just need to prepare Ellie. I'm sitting down with Alex later."

"Olivia, have you considered where Ellie will be staying once the case is finished?"

Olivia looked at her Captain, then down at her hands in her lap. "I was thinking about adopting her. She has no one else, and I have the room in my apartment, and I have the money to take care of us both."

"I think you're too close to her, I don't want this to become a conflict of interest in court. You should think about putting Ellie into care until the case is over."

Olivia's face dropped slightly, "Sir, I can't do that."

"You need to Olivia, if you don't, I'm taking you off her case."

Olivia stood up, "Sir, you have another case for me?"

Cragen sighed softly, "Yes, take Elliot with you."

* * *

The journey to the crime scene was silent for the first ten minutes. Olivia swung around the corner, Elliot took the chance alone to talk to Olivia. "Liv, are we okay?"

"What do you mean, okay?" Olivia asked.

"We used to be best friends, now I'm lucky if I can get one word out of you."

"Honestly Elliot, yes, we're okay. I just felt like you weren't thinking of me when you told me how you felt."

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked.

Olivia pulled up, "You're still married and you told me you're in love with me. You're not thinking about Kathy or the kids, you're thinking about you. Elliot, I was attacked last week and I've taken Ellie in to live with me because she has no one else. I'm thinking about her and what she needs right now, you're just thinking about yourself."

Elliot looked at Olivia, "Selfish you mean."

"I didn't say that, you're just slightly inconsiderate." Olivia smiled and Elliot couldn't felt anything but love.

"I know what you mean, and I'm sorry Liv. I put you on the spot and expected you to feel the same. I know the world doesn't just stop for me."

Olivia smiled again, "I do love you Elliot. I always have." Olivia smiled a little more, then leant in and kissed his lips. As she pulled away she looked deep in his eyes, "We have a crime scene to get to." Olivia put the car back into drive and pulled away.

"You're amazing Olivia."

Olivia blushed, "So you do have a soft side." she laughed, her smile dropped slightly, "Elliot, I need to ask you something."

"Anything." he said.

"Don't say that, you don't even know what I'm going to ask yet." Olivia sighed, "I might need you to take Ellie in, just until her court case is finished. Cragen thinks her living with me could be a conflict of interest. I don't want to jeopardise anything for her."

"I have my own apartment now, so sure. I told you Olivia, anything for you."

"Thank you." Olivia said softly, "I need to talk to Ellie about it, I'm hoping I can keep her with me and no one will find out. I don't want to up root her again."

Pulling up at the crime scene, Olivia saw the usual squad cars parked up with the police tape around the perimeter of the crime scene. Both detectives got out of the car and walked over to the uniformed officer, gave their name and badge numbers then went under the tape. "What've we got?" Elliot asked.

"We've got half a woman." the officer replied.

"What?" Elliot asked.

"No arms, no legs. All her teeth are gone, it's a bloody mess, looks like torture."

"Thanks." Elliot said then walked over to the body. "This isn't just torture, this is mutilation."

Olivia bowed her head, "Everything about this screams personal. The mutilation of her genitals, the blood on both her eyelids. He closed her eyes, he obviously didn't want us to find out who she is, no prints, no dental records. We just have to hope we can ID her through DNA, but if she's not in the system, we don't stand a chance."

"Not unless we can get a facial recognition from the DNV database." Elliot said.

Olivia nodded softly, she looked at Melinda who was tending to the body; "I don't suppose you can determine cause of death?"

"I can actually, she bled to death here." Melinda informed.

"Right here?" Elliot asked.

"Right here." Melinda confirmed, "She has at least ten stab wounds that I can count, she suffered a lot, her limbs were removed when she was alive, so were her teeth. This is our primary crime scene."

Olivia gave a saddened nod, "How old would you say she was?"

"She's only young, I'd say late teens, early twenties. Olivia, I can't be sure but she looks a lot like Bella Ricardo."

"The Mayors daughter?" Olivia asked staring at the body.

"Yes, I read a news article about her last week, she'd just made it into an ivy league school to study medicine. I remember the small birthmark in her hair line and her eyes, one is brown and one is blue."

"I'll call Cragen, call me when you do the autopsy."

* * *

Olivia arrived back at the precinct with Elliot, she looked for Ellie and saw her playing a card game with Munch. Olivia walked over to them and smiled softly, "Ellie, I need to talk to you."

Ellie stood up and read Olivia's expression. "What's wrong? Something's happened hasn't it?"

"Come with me." Olivia said avoiding the question, she walked up to the crib and made sure no one was in there. "Sit down sweetheart." Olivia said sitting on one of the bunks.

"Please just tell me what's going on." Ellie pleaded.

Olivia sighed softly, "My Captain has said it might be in your best interest if you don't stay with me for a while, just until your trial is over."

Ellie's eyes welled up, "He wants you to put me in care doesn't he?"

"No, I'm going to do something I hope I don't regret. I'm going to tell Cragen you're staying with Elliot."

Ellie wiped her tears, "But I'm staying with you?"

"Yes." Olivia said softly.

Ellie threw her arms around Olivia and began sobbing, "I love you Olivia."

"I love you too Ellie." Olivia said hugging the girl tightly.


	12. Thanksgiving

**A/N: Hi guys, I know you've all be waiting for this chapter, my original authors note said Happy Christmas, I started writing this on Christmas day, and I know I'm a few months behind now with timing, given this is a Thanksgiving chapter, but I am getting there slowly. Please bear with me, I will try and get this updated again this week or next week to catch up bringing us up to Christmas and New Year. Thank you for all your reviews, I really do appreciate them. I hope you enjoy this chapter, as always if you have time, please leave a review. Thanks – Beth. **

* * *

'_Dear Diary._

_I'm in a very hard place right now, Cragen made a point of saying Ellie living with me could be a conflict of interest in her trial. I understand where he's coming from, if the defence finds out Ellie's here they'll try everything to say I've been couching her. As much as she deserves justice, I want it for her. She has had it rough her whole life, I want to make it better. _

_I've done everything I can to help her, and she helped herself a lot, now it's just down to Alex, but with the DNA everything should work out perfectly. _

_I'm still concerned though, it wouldn't be the first time something we considered to be a slam dunk has gone down in flames. I don't think I've ever wanted anything more than I want justice for Ellie. She's lost everyone and everything in her life, getting justice is all she can have now, before she can move on. _

_I've also been thinking about adopting her. I haven't mentioned anything to her yet, but I'd really like her to be a part of my life. I know I can't replace her mother, and I wouldn't want to, but I would like to give her everything I can, and every opportunity I can. I just have one problem, Elliot. I don't know where I stand when it comes to my emotions with him. I want him, and he wants me too, but I'm scared. It's a big change having Ellie here, but to have Elliot too. We could be a family, but I'm not sure that's what Elliot wants. He has a family and he's leaving them for me. How do I tell him if he wants me, he's going to have to take on Ellie too? I don't know..._

_I could go on a lot more, but the turkey is in the oven, me cooking is very different to picking up the phone to get take out. Happy thanks giving._

_O.B'_

Ellie had fallen asleep on the couch, Olivia took the turkey out of the oven and the roast potatoes. She laid the table with new plates and glasses, pouring herself a glass of wine, she poured Ellie some orange juice. Once everything was on the two plates, Olivia went over to Ellie and nudged her gently, "Dinners ready." she smiled.

Ellie woke up, sat up and as she breathed in, she smelt the turkey. "Smells great!"

"I hope it tastes great! As you've seen, I don't cook. I order, I'm pretty good at that." Olivia laughed as she sat at the table with Ellie.

Ellie teared up, "This is perfect. It feels like, home."

Olivia frowned a little, "Home?"

"I know it sounds stupid because I never really had a home, but this feels like it should be home. When I've been at my friends houses, when I was younger, when I had friends; I'd see their families, their moms and dads and how happy they were and I always wished I was like them. I wish I had that family unit, now it feels like I have that. Even if it's temporary."

Olivia looked at Ellie, "This doesn't have to be temporary Ellie. I really like having you here and if you'd like, we could go through the channels to make this permanent."

Ellie smiled, got up and hugged Olivia. "I'd really love that!"

Olivia and Ellie finished their dinners, put the plates in the sink and sat down on the couch feeling bloated. Ellie snuggled into Olivia and looked up at her, "So, where's Elliot?"

"What?"

"Where's Elliot? I thought you'd want to invite him, I bought enough food to feed an army."

Olivia smiled, "I'm guessing he's at his apartment."

"Alone?"

"I don't know..." Olivia said softly.

"Well call him, no one should be alone on Thanksgiving."

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked Ellie.

"Course I am. You love him, and me." she grinned, "So we should all spend it together."

* * *

Elliot knocked on the door of Olivia's apartment, when Olivia answered he greeted with a smile and a bottle of wine. "Thanks for inviting me over." he said walking into the apartment.

"It was Ellie's idea." Olivia admitted.

Elliot nodded and put the bottle of wine down, "Where is Ellie?"

"She's reading on the bed." Olivia said sitting down on the couch still feeling bloated. "So what have you been doing? Did you have dinner with Kathy and the kids?"

"No." Elliot replied, "I spoke to Kathy but she said none of the kids wanted me there, so I just sat watching TV all day."

"Have you eaten at all?" Olivia asked.

"TV dinner count?" he smiled.

Olivia smiled in return, "We have lots of turkey left, what do you say to a turkey sandwich?"

"Sounds great."

Olivia looked at Elliot and he joined her in the small kitchen, "Elliot, I need to ask you something, I don't know where you are with your feelings for me, or where we're going with this relationship, but whatever happens, I need you to know that I'm seriously considering adopting Ellie. We've briefly talked about it and she loves the idea..."

Elliot nodded softly, "I think it's a great idea." he said.

"What I mean is, you've done the whole family and wife thing, I need to know if that's what you want, or at least if you could grow to the idea."

Elliot smiled, "Olivia, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Just because I had a family with someone else, doesn't mean I don't want that with you. Ellie seems like a really sweet kid, and sure I need to get to know her, but I can see us three being a family."

Olivia smiled and threw her arms around Elliot. She was so relieved and happy, and she couldn't wait to tell Ellie. Olivia made three turkey sandwiches, one for each of them. She called Ellie out of the bedroom. Ellie, Elliot and Olivia all sat down to eat. Ellie could feel the tension in the room and didn't like it at all. "How long did you guys work together?" the girl asked.

"Twelve years." Elliot replied, "The longest serving SVU detectives in New York." he said proudly.

Ellie smiled, "You must have been really good then, I mean I read recently that most detectives don't work there for longer than three years."

"I had a great partner." Elliot replied.

Olivia smiled, "Can I tell her?"

Elliot nodded, "Tell me what?" Ellie asked.

"Ellie, Elliot and I have been talking and we'd like to know what you think about me adopting you."

Ellie smiled, then frowned then got up and hugged Olivia. "I don't know what to say." she said.

"Say yes." Olivia said softly.

"Yes!" Ellie said smiling brightly.

"Ellie, we have a chance to be a family, me you and Elliot. Are you okay with all of this?"

"Duh!" Ellie laughed, "You two are made for each other, anyone can see that."

Ellie didn't have a chance to say anything else because Olivia's phone started ringing. She answered and sighed softly, nodding a few times to herself she lowered her head. "We have a shout, Thanksgiving is over."

Olivia went into her bedroom and got changed into what she called her work clothes. Olivia came out of the bedroom and found Elliot straightening his jacket. "Good job I always keep a spare change of clothes in the trunk of my car." he said waiting for Olivia.

She smiled and looked at Ellie, "I'm sorry we have to leave Ellie. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"It's okay, go." Ellie sat down on the couch after hugging Olivia and made herself comfortable.

* * *

Olivia and Elliot arrived at their crime scene, Melinda Warren was already there. "Sorry to call you out." she said.

Olivia noticed a few different sheets, "Multiple victims?" she asked.

"No, these are the legs and arms that belong to Bella Richardo."

"Did you formerly identify her?" Elliot asked.

"No, but she's identical in looks, unfortunately, we still don't have her hands. No teeth and no prints is going to make it difficult to identify her. I think Cragen is going to call the mayor and ask him and his wife to identify the body."

Both detectives didn't know what to say, they looked around the secondary crime scene and saw nothing that looked remotely out of place considering the location. "Is there any fibres or anything that can link us to whoever did this?" Olivia asked.

"Nothing yet but CSU haven't finished here yet, as soon as they know something, I'll let you know."

* * *

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Cragen asked as he walked Mr and Mrs Richardo through to identify the body.

"Please Don, don't sugar coat us. We can handle this." Albert Richardo said.

Cragen and the Richardo's stopped at the glass panel, one of Warner's assistants showed the girls face. Mrs Richardo broke down in tears, and collapsed into her husbands arms. "It's her, it's our baby." Alberto said holding his wife.

Cragen gave a wave of his hand and the assistant covered the girl's face again. "Al, I have my two best detectives on this."

"Just make sure they find who did this to our baby."

"Of course." Cragen said.


	13. Reporters

**A/N: Hi guys, sorry for the long wait in updates. I have had a lot going on over the past three weeks so updating has been the last thing on my mind. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I wanted to thank you all for your reviews. Amanda4Meloni, thank you for always reviewing. When it came to Olivia asking Elliot over for dinner, she didn't ask because it was Ellie's first Thanksgiving, not only with Olivia but in general. So Olivia wanted to make it special for her. I hope that explains why he wasn't invited in the first place. The dinner was Ellie and Olivia as a new little family.**

* * *

'_Dear Diary,_

_I'm sat at my desk right now, my head is spinning with so many thoughts. Ellie. Elliot and now Bella Richardo. This case is going to get so much press attention. I just hope the family remain private about the whole thing. It would make the investigation run smoother not having reporters turning up at every location. I guess right now, there's not a lot I can do. I have no leads, but I do have butterflies. Ellie is the perfect little girl, and she adores Elliot just as much as I do. I really think we could be the perfect little family._

_Waiting on a call from Cragen, so the pen is going down for now._

_O.B_'

Olivia and Elliot got a call from Cragen, it was confirmed that the body was Bella Richardo. Olivia shook her head sad to see such a young girl murdered in such a brutal way. "I couldn't imagine having to identify my own child." Olivia commented.

"I've thought about it, if something happened to one of mine, I'd be crushed." he admitted.

"So where do we go from here?" Olivia asked softly. "Forensics have nothing, all we have is a body. We have two crime scenes and no leads."

"Time to talk to the parents." Elliot said finding the keys to the Crown Vic.

Elliot and Olivia drove to the Richardo's house. Elliot knocked on the door and was greeted by a woman in black, the mother in mourning. "Mrs Richardo." Elliot said, "I know this is a hard time for you, but we need to talk to you. I'm detective Stabler, and this is my partner, Detective Benson."

Alison Richardo opened the door and let both detectives into her house. She wiped her eyes and walked through her house to the living room. "Please take a seat." she said motioning to the couch.

Olivia sat down, "Mrs Richardo, I know this must be hard for you, but we need to know if Bella had any enemies, or if she was having any trouble with anyone recently. We need to know if there is someone in particular you thought might have been a threat to your daughter."

"There was one girl, she was obsessed with Bella. Bella would say this girl took photos of her, like she was a celebrity; never left her alone. Not even in class."

"Do you know her name?" Olivia asked taking mental notes.

"I think she said her name was Frankie, I don't know her last name." Alison informed.

"Did she have anyone else giving her problems or unnecessary attention?" Elliot asked.

Alison shook her head, "No, no one I can think of. She kept a diary, I could give it to you if you think there could be anything in there."

"That would be great." Olivia said standing up, "We'll keep you informed, if we have any new information, you'll be the first to know."

"You should know my husband is going to release an appeal for witnesses to come forward."

Elliot nodded, he hated cases where the press were involved, but he had no choice. Olivia and Elliot got in the car and drove back to the one – six just in time to see the beginning of the Mayor's appeal.

Mayor Richardo stood tall and proud, but he held such a sadness in his eyes. "I stand here today to ask you for your help. My daughter Bella was murdered yesterday, her arms and legs were removed from her body, along with her teeth and hands. The police have found her limbs at a second crime scene, but her hands have not been found. I am asking you to come forward if you know anything that can help me lay my daughter to rest. All of her." Mayor Richardo stiffened his quivering bottom lip. "Someone had to have seen what happened to Bella, even if you think what you saw doesn't matter, please contact the police, Detective Benson and Stabler are two of the cities finest detectives, they will look into every lead. Bella was a bright girl, she was just accepted into an ivy league school. Her life was stolen from her; I am asking, begging anyone who has any information to contact me or my team on the number on your screen. No detail is too small, just please don;t be scared. Help me find the man who killed my baby."

"He set up his own hot line, that makes a change." Elliot said sarcastically. "And of course, we'll be checking into every lead the nutters come to us with." he stood up.

"He has the money and the people to do it." Olivia said, "He held it together well."

"He's got an image to keep up, I'm surprised Alison wasn't there with him." Elliot said standing up, "Fancy a drive to Bella's high school? Lets see if we can identify this Frankie."

* * *

Olivia and Elliot arrived at Bella's old high school, it was heaving with children in uniforms. Elliot opened the door for Olivia and she went in smiling at his gentlemen behaviour. They walked through to the school office where they found the principle, Jenny Fulham.

"Please take a seat." she said standing but not moving from her desk. "Whatever I can help you with, please just let me know."

"We need to know if there was a girl in Bella's class called Frankie." Elliot said blankly.

"Do you have a warrant?" she asked.

"I didn't think we'd need one." Elliot said, "You just said anything you can do to help. Well this would help, a lot."

Jenny nodded, "Will this come back on the school?"

Olivia stood up, "This won't come back to bite you on the ass Ms Fulham. We're looking into a murder, not school records."

Jenny looked at Olivia, then back at her computer, "Frankie Parsher. There were rumours Frankie was in love, or crushing on Bella." Jenny printed out the home address of Frankie Parsher and gave it to Olivia.

"Remind me when I get back to read her diary." Olivia said getting in the car.

"Will do." Elliot said getting back in the car.

Elliot drove to the address in Queens he was given. Pulling up her knew the house. "This isn't just any house, I knew I knew the name Parsher. Parsher industries created the Ipad knock off."

"Rich basically." Olivia said.

"Rich doesn't quite cover the amount of money this family has." Elliot said feeling envious. "One knock off idea and you're rolling in cash. Makes you wonder what the hell you're doing working for a living."

Olivia gave a small shrug, "If I didn't have bills to pay, I'd work for free. Justice is a right, not a privilege."

Elliot smiled, "That's why I love you. Heart of gold, and face like an angel." he said softly.

Olivia blushed and knocked on the door, "What?" a young girl said as she answered.

"Frankie?" Olivia said noticing her red eyes and mascara stained cheeks.

"Yeah.."

"I'm Detective Benson, this is Detective Stabler. We need to ask you a few questions."

Frankie opened the door and headed upstairs to her bedroom, she opened the door and sat on her bed. Olivia walked in, Elliot decided to wait outside. Olivia looked around the room and saw what looked like a shrine dedicated to Bella with two small red candles burning.

"Can I help you?" Frankie asked in a disinterested tone.

"Can you tell me how you knew Bella?" Olivia asked softly.

"I suppose every creep at school told you I stalked her?" she said fighting tears.

"I want to hear what you have to say."

"You can sit down." Frankie said sniffing back her tears. "Bella and I were together, in love." Frankie gave Olivia a photo album, photos as recent as the day she died of the two of them kissing, sharing a picnic and cuddling proved this was no stalking matter. "Bella's dad is the biggest homophobic in New York. He made it very clear that we couldn't be together, so we had to keep our relationship private."

"So when you took photos of her..." Olivia started.

"Bella is the most beautiful girl I've ever met, inside and out. I'm going to do photography in college, she'd let me take black and white photos of her for my portfolio. She knew I was taking them, but all her stuck up friends made it vile and creepy."

"But it wasn't." Olivia said realising she had been mislead.

"No, she was my first love. We planned on eloping when we went to college, then her dad couldn't say anything or do anything about us."

"Was Bella scared of her dad?"

"Of course she was, he locked her in the basement for four days when he saw us holding hands. He said he was going to send her to a camp for sexually diseased people like us." Frankie looked at her chest of drawers.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Olivia asked.

Frankie got up and opened her drawer, she rummaged around until she found a letter. "Bella gave me this, she always said if something bad happened to her, it would be her dad that did it."

Olivia looked shocked but took the letter anyway, "Why did she say that?"

"Her dad used to lock in her the basement if she blinked too many times a day. He was an abuser, I tried to be strong for her and keep all her secrets but it was a lot to take. Last week she said things had gotten really bad and gave me this. She said when the cops come, give it to them."

"When the cops come, not if?" Olivia asked concerned.

"When." Frankie confirmed. "Her dad did this and then he's all over the TV telling the whole of New York he needs help finding her killer. The blood is on his hands. I'd bet my life on it."

Olivia nodded, "I'm sorry for your loss sweetheart." she got up and closed the door behind her. Looking at Elliot she showed him the letter. "They were in love, she's distraught. I think we need to look at Mr Richardo." Olivia said with a sigh knowing this case was about to get harder.

"Read her diary, I'll do some digging into Richardo. If he's left a trace of anything, I'll find it."

Olivia nodded, "I'm going to call Ellie and make sure she's okay." Olivia said pulling out her phone sighing heavily. This was one case she would happily skip, not because Bella didn't deserve justice, but because of the reporters that would now be following them around and photographing every move she made. She could now look forward to seeing her face plastered over news papers with titles about how she had made no progress on the case. Something she wasn't looking forward to.


	14. GoodBye

Olivia sat at her desk making herself comfortable; she opened Bella's diary after breaking the lock. She always hated reading a victim's diary, because it felt like she was invading their privacy; but she knew she had no choice. Flicking through the pages of Bella's diary, Olivia became more and more concerned for Bella and her safety even though she knew it was too late to save her.

"Elliot, listen to this." Olivia said, "'My dad thinks he's something special because he paid his way to Mayor. I really want to scream out what he's really like. If anyone knew what he did to me, he'd be run out of town."

"Does she specify what he did?" Elliot asked.

Olivia shook her head, "I haven't seen anything so far, but I'll keep reading." A few minutes later, Olivia almost choked as she read Bella's diary. "Oh God, Elliot I think we have enough to pick up Richardo."

"What have you got?" he asked.

"Bella says here, 'My dad dragged me by my hair into the basement. He took of his belt and wrapped it around my neck until I blacked out. I woke up with no underwear on, I don't know what he did but it hurts like hell.' Bella must have gotten Frankie to take these photos." Olivia showed Elliot a set of photos.

"How can anyone do that to their child? If anyone touched my kids I'd kill them."

Olivia sighed, "I don't know what to say, I'm going to call Alex."

"We've got enough to arrest him." Elliot snapped.

"I'm not sure we do." Olivia said keeping her calm. "We have her diary and some photos, all that proves is someone hurt her, not who."

"You sound like Alex now."

Olivia let out a laugh, "That's because I know what she's going to say. We have enough to talk to him, but I don't think we can hold him."

Elliot shook his head, "He doesn't know that."

* * *

Elliot and Olivia picked up the Mayor, they made an effort to keep things on the down low, but it was hard with the amount of people around him.

Back at the one – six, Elliot entered the interrogation room, Olivia was already in there flicking through a file.

"Mr Richardo, you've been thrown into the middle of our investigation, we need to get to the bottom of a few things." Olivia said seeing Elliot join her.

"So I'm not under arrest? I can leave at any time?" he asked.

"You're not under arrest." Elliot said.

"So who has put me in the middle of this investigation? That creepy little kid who was crushing on Bella?" Richardo spat with distain.

"Actually, your daughter did." Olivia said, she pushed the photos of Bella's injuries in front of him, but held back the diary entry.

Mr Richardo's face twisted as he relived the moment he hurt his daughter. "I..." he tried. "She couldn't have told you, she's dead."

"Mr Richardo, why did you hurt your daughter?" Olivia pressed talking to him like he was a victim rather than a perp.

Tears rolled down the man's face, "I couldn't control her anymore. My little girl was growing up into a monster. She got involved with that girl, she told me she loved her and I lost it. Ever since then, every time I saw her face, I wanted to hide her away; but I couldn't."

"Hide her where?" Olivia asked again.

"I would put her in the basement, I just wanted to make her see that she wasn't in love."

"Why?" Elliot asked breaking his silence, "Why is it a bad thing for your daughter to be in a same sex relationship?"

"Because it's wrong!" the Mayor screamed slamming his fists down on the table. "It's disgusting! That girl putting her hands all over my daughter, she deserved to die!"

"Who deserved to die?" Olivia asked shuffling in her seat a little.

"That Frankie girl. She's vile."

Olivia turned to Elliot, "Can you get Mr Richardo a drink of water." Elliot left the room, Olivia looked at the man who once looked strong and composed, "Sir, take a few deep breaths, no one here is disagreeing with you, we just want to help find who murdered your daughter."

"I know you do. Look, I would punish Bella for seeing that girl, and those pictures prove it. So charge me with whatever you're going to charge me with, then please, let me go home and grieve for my baby girl."

Elliot entered the room with the cup of water, he placed it down in front of Mr Richardo. "You okay?" he asked him.

"Fine thank you."

"Look man, I know we can be a bit tough, but this is all for your daughter, you understand."

"I do. So just do it." the Mayor downed the cup of water and left it on the table. "Are we done?"

"We are." Elliot said, "Albert Richardo, you're under arrest for child endangerment and aggravated assault against a minor."

As Elliot read Albert Richardo his rights, Olivia made a call to Alex. She dialled the number and waited for Alex to pick up.

"Detective Benson." Alex greeted, "What can I do for you?"

"We've arrested the Mayor."

"You've done what?"

"He confessed to physically assaulting his daughter. I'm sure he raped her too, we've got his DNA from a cup of water; I'm going to run it down to DNA now and get a rush on it."

"Have you got something to compare it too?"

"Bella conducted her own rape kit when she thought her dad raped her. In the diary entry, she placed a tampon in a clear bag and wrote that it had semen on it. Hopefully it will be a match to her dad, then we've got him on rape too."

"Are you any closer to finding her killer?"

"I have a gut feeling it's her dad." Olivia confessed.

There was silence on the end of the phone as Alex took in everything Olivia said. "Your gut is usually right Olivia. I hope this time it isn't."

"Me too." Olivia said softly hanging up the phone, she headed down to the lab and put a rush on the DNA.

* * *

Ellie sat in Olivia's apartment feeling lonely, she sat down and picked up a book she had been reading for over a week. She loved Olivia like a child loved their mother, but felt sad at the distance between them since Elliot had come on the scene. She felt pushed away, resentment and a little jealous at the same time. Ellie read the same page four times and not once did she fully take in the information in front of her. She threw the book on the floor and wrote a text to Olivia debating whether to hit the send button or not. She packed her clothes, after ten minutes of packing, she decided it was better for everyone to leave. She took one last look around the apartment before leaving.

* * *

Olivia's phone went off in her pocket, she had just shared her news with the squad room. Getting her phone out she saw Ellie's name on the screen. Unlocking her phone she sat at her desk expecting it to be a cute little text about what she wanted for dinner, but she was wrong. Very wrong.

'_Olivia, you saved me, took me in and believed me when no one else would. For that I'll always be grateful, but you have the chance to have a real family with Elliot, and I don't feel like I fit into that. I know you have work to do, and with a boyfriend in the picture, working long hours, I just don't fit into this picture anymore. Thank you for taking care of me. I've left the key to the apartment on the coffee table. All my love, Ellie. X_'

"Oh God." Olivia said picking up her coat, Elliot called after her, but Olivia wasn't listening. She was scared, worried and panicking about Ellie. Although Olivia knew she had a right to be happy, with or without Elliot, she wanted happiness with Ellie. Olivia threw the car into drive and slammed her foot down on the accelerator speeding towards her apartment. She ran up the stairs, threw open the door and called out Ellie's name, she was greeted with silence. Pulling out her phone, Olivia dialled Ellie's cell phone in the hopes she'd taken it with her, it rang and rang then finally went to voicemail.

"Elliot!" Olivia shouted down the phone, "Ellie's gone, she sent me a text and left the apartment, I need you to track her cell phone number."

"Calm down Olivia, I'm putting the trace out now." Olivia waited impatiently, she closed her apartment door and went back down to the Crown Vic badly parked outside her apartment building. "She's on the north side of central park, she's not moving."

"Thanks." Olivia said shutting off the call. Olivia flipped the switch in the car, sirens and lights filled the streets as she blazed down them at high speeds. Parking the car, again badly; she ran through the park with her radio in one hand and phone in the other. Stopping a little, she tried to catch her breath. She scanned the park and saw Ellie, she walked over to her taking the time it took her to walk to compose herself.

"Ellie." Olivia said softly sitting down opposite the young girl.

"I don't want to talk." Ellie said softly.

"Okay then, listen." Olivia sighed softly, her hair blowing in the wind as she spoke. "Sweetheart just because Elliot is a part of my life now, doesn't mean I don't want you in my life. I told you, I want you to be comfortable and happy with me; if you don't feel like that then I'm doing something wrong. I can cool things off with Elliot, I..."

"Just stop! You can't put your life on hold for me. I'm not your daughter, why would you give all that up for me?"

Olivia reached out her hand to hold Ellie's; "I want you to be," Olivia thought for a moment, "Ellie, I want you to be a part of my family. If I had a daughter, a baby of my own, I'd want her to be strong just like you. Regardless of Elliot and I having children in the future, I want you to be my child now."

Ellie's eyes lit up, glistening as she blinked away the tears; "You mean it?"

"I do." Olivia said smiling softly.


End file.
